Sexual Discrimination in Massage Therapy

[Maybe.]

Having done my training a while ago, I am just now wanting to start out.

I have massaged mainly females so far, and 2 males. The 2 males were both pleased with the results (as were all the females). I have also been massaged by both male and female. I didn't have a problem at all with the male who did it, but he was a builder, and had very rough hands. Another male in the class was gay, had smoother skin and I think I would have enjoyed it more from him (I'm straight by the way). I just think that as long as a man's hands are smooth enough then a massage should be the same regardless of the sex of the therapist.

Right, as I am just starting out, I need to do my website, and also a Yellow Pages advert, and maybe leaflets/cards. Has anybody got any tips for a male therapist?

I know this is an old thread, but at the time lots of the male therapists replying where just starting out, so I'm hoping that their struggle and ultimate success will be of help to me too.

 

[vwuwjdbu]

hi and love and light to you

i dont mind massaging men at all. but unfortunately i wouldnt ever be massaged by a man. not because i think theyre not good at their job but because id die of embarrassment at him looking at my body lol i know id be thinking all the time "oh god hes touching my flab!" or "i bet he thinks my stretch marks are nasty!" lol so its my problem, not a male masseurs.

namaste

Helenxxx

 

[Jazmine N]

But it IS the male massage therapist's problem as it is them that doesn't get as many customers as a result.

Womens (and mens) bodies come in all shapes and sizes. When you massage men, are you judging their bodies or just getting on with your work?

 

[Sam Conway]

I do think this is part of the problem, some people seem to think that the people treating them might be ogling them and thinking 'phwaor, they're sexy', for many, they really don't realise that we're just doing our job, as a doctor would, nothing sexual, no judgement, who cares if they have flab? Who cares if they are fit? Not us, well, ok, we care if they are fit in the being fit and healthy way and promoting that, but if they have a six pack or not really isn't what we're about.

I have friends who haven't been case studies, cause for them, having me touch them would feel uncomfortable, their choice, totally - it has to feel right. I also know quite a few women who would only be treated by men. I think men are sorely advantaged when someone is looking for a remedial or sports treatment, where women are advantaged for aromatherapy and pampering treatments. It does balance out in that respect, but all you can do your marketing wins out for you and that your clients are the open minded ones.

 

[oxoxaomq]

And Helen, have you never noticed that women are MUCH more judgmental than men about other women's bodies?!

 

[tjjwhole]

A quetion sort of on this topic - if you are a 'straight' male therapist, would you not accept a male client if he told you he was gay? - Or if you are a 'straight' female therapist would you not accept a female client who told you she was lesbian?

 

[imsoeffinhxc]

Oooh good question!

As a gay male therapist, I accept all clients as I say to everyone, to me its just a body-part.

 

[Raider3]

Don't know what someone's sexuality has got to do with it! I'm a "straight" male therapist but I've massaged both heterosexual and homosexual men. What's the difference?

 

[Chris Haggard]

There is a perception / worry / paranoia from some straight males that by being massage by another guy is somehow sexual and could be cause for jokes about sexuality. Or they are same they think that if the therapist is gay they will obviously fancy them or something.

 

[jif]

But they musn't be concerned by the risk that a female therapist might fancy them and they think she's a no goer.[&:]
Perhaps it's the therapist's approach? - I tend to "mother" my clients - I didn't realise it, until one of my little old lady clients commented on how she felt mothered and looked after by the way I wrapped her in warm towels etc - it's perhaps that comforting, nurturing effect that men are after when seeing a female therapist? (- If she isn't the "phwar" sort anyway!! )
It's quite a psychological mine field! I wonder what Freud would say!

 

[RaneJavier]

As a straight male, I don't care about sexuality or gender of the person giving or receiving. As I said earlier, I received from a straight builder and wished I had received from the gay bloke instead due to the builders hands being rough. And I am comfortable with my own sexuality

 

[ReyKataoeu]

Or to pose the question from a client's perspective - do you think a gay/lesbian client would perfer a gay/lesbian therapist?

 

[Just me 2]

My eyes are shut when I am being massaged, but not the first few moments when the therapist enters the room. And as soon as I see it is a male therapist, I would immediately tense up and get uncomfortable. Sure, there are reasons for it, such as me having a Dad that wasn't real affectionate or emotional, and me having some male doctors that weren't very sympathetic and seemed quite cold. Maybe there is something to the nurturing female thing, who knows. I just know I am not interested in having a male massage therapist anytime soon. If people are allowed to pick therapists on personality and who they are comfortable with, shouldn't they be able to pick what sex they are comfortable with also? What's the difference?

 

[corncake38]

Yes it is up to each individual to find a therapist or therapists that they feel comfortable with, this holds true regardless of the treatment involved, if you can't communicate and relax during a treatment, then it will lessen the effectiveness of the treatment.

The same can work the other way round, if we as therapists do not feel at ease with a patient then it can effect the treatment.

 

[farahali525]

None whatsoever, as in all things "You have a freedom of choice to select who you wish" To call that "Sexual Discrimination" IMO is way off track.

 

[spiderizon]

Hi there,

I may be weighing in late on this one, but...

I'm a gay male therapist and haven't had any problems with straight male clients. I can add that my straight male clients haven't had any problems with me either. Massage therapy (the key word being THERAPY) is not sexual and I make this clear if I feel that there is any confusion whatsoever.

A poster spoke about searching for massage therapists and finding details with partially clothed men (or naked, etc.) advertising massage services. It's doubtful that most of these people actually bothered to attend a course, obtain accreditation and insurance in order to offer a regulated service. Not every gay masseur is also involved in prostitution and to assume that someone is going to act inapropriately because of their sexuality is shortsighted and ignorant. And not wanting to change speaks volumes, it's really sad that people can be so comfortable with their prejudice and bias - they lose out eventually. The world's a-changin', keep up of fall off.

Best wishes to all my fellow therapists who have to put up with crap from ingoramii (the plural for ignoramus, use it, don't use it...).

((E))