Actually, when I married her, my ex was just about as unassertive and homebody type as any woman I have ever met, and no TG had anything on her in the "take care" department, as she doted on me. In fact, when faced with a decision for us to make, and I would ask her what she thought about it, 90% of the time, she would reply, "Up to you!"
Like you, I encouraged her to be more confident, assertive, and involved in the decision-making. And for the same reasons you mention.
But, really, after the kids were born, and especially as they got to be school age, then the amount of time she spent on child-rearing, working(even though she never worked full-time), and other projects, like getting published, and getting a Master's degree, didn't really leave much time for the relationship, or even enough time for herself.
Maybe things just weren't meant to work out in the long run, but the stress that many working moms subject themselves to is not healthy, IMHO, and contributes to a lot of divorces. When one person helps the other to reduce the stress they incur, that works better than when both people are highly stressed. Too much stress and something's got to give.
And when you look at the birth rate info, it appears that Western civilization is in a death spiral, to be replaced largely by Muslim civilization. That has got to make you wonder whether the whole women's lib thing is really on the right track, or whether the traditional ways of our parents and grandparents were not better.