TOFTT: 5 Minute Massage Chair, Kings Plaza Mall, Brooklyn

[Milou]

NOW you tell me to check to see if it was plugged in...!

 

[mit endorI]

Ahem...Sorry for your disappointing experience. Out of curiousity, did you check to see if it was plugged in?

Obviously it could have been a YMMV thing but it's always a good idea to check that power source...

 

[Doggity]

I tried one of these a while back. Very disappointed--the chair just sat there! Won't be going back.

Michael

 

[Mawia]

No surprise there, Dogg. Can't expect to send a catalog of your services to every household in America and not attract unwanted attention.

 

[Godless Heathen]

That was hilarious man! Thanks for making me laugh.

 

[Sarah <3]

Two words: currency acceptor.

If it fits, she'll accept it. YMMV.

 

[orgil]

Extras allowed?

 

[Happy Dude]

Nice intel, SD. Gentlemen, stick to Sharper Image this weekend...or, if you can manage it, get an outcall - I understand Ethan Allen and Sears both offer 24 hour delivery on furniture items over $500.

 

[Demonen]

Last time I was there it was upstairs in front of the Express store. Good luck.

 

[PAYET M]

Nice! That must have been a MassageTech 3000. They're REALLY hard to find - the "hobbling" class action suit led to a recall in 2009, but there are still a few out there. I'll be taking a drive out to Quaker Bridge tomorrow to see if I can snap that one up. We 'chair job' guys are rabid collectors when it comes to anything rare.

 

[Zeb]

I've heard back channel that LE is onto Brookstone... Just be careful, I think this weekend will be safe as they wouldn't normally set up a "Sting" on a Holiday Weekend.

 

[Lollipiemecem]

I have seen one of these providers before, but this one was at Quaker Bridge Mall. I was really just expecting a nice back rub, I never really go for the extras myself, just for relaxation. I should have known something was up when she strapped my legs in and would not let go, but the work she was putting in was not bad so I melted a bit. Then all of a sudden I felt her grinding up against my crotch, relentlessly. Well to quote Janet from Rocky Horror "I thought there's no use getting, into heavy petting, it only leads to trouble and seat wetting."

Yeah, my seat was wet.

 

[Bubblez&Cookiez=]]

Ah shit, I remember that BB chair. If this is the same one it was reupholstered from head to toe...which means it's clearly not BB service anymore.



Brookstone's kind of high end for my taste, don't you think?

 

[hmm.]

Otis: there's this place at my local mall called Brookstone. Sickest massage providers ever! Chairs, handheld devices... shit you can't even imagine. PM me for more details, I've said too much already...

 

[Punky (Eeeevil Atheist)]

loved the review.......

 

[anewsogl]

Without a pic, it's hard to tell, but given the age and location, I don't think this is a TOFTT - I believe this is the same provider I reviewed for offering BB service back in '09. I'm glad you at least covered little Otis with Spunkmore paper - there's must be more DNA soaked into that chair than there is in the most popular 42nd Street glory hole.

 

[Katy M]

1. Do you have any idea how much mileage is on those Ctown chairs? At least the KPM ones are reupholstered...

2. I recommend in no uncertain terms avoiding any activity revolving around deer nuts. Those things have antlers and hooves and will not hesitate to fuck you up mightily in reponse to any manner of "unwanted touch."

 

[Walter]

Ctown may not have the cleanest chairs but it has the value my man. Dumplings and chair massagees; all under a buck...just like deer nuts.

 

[Niofania F]

Super funny review Otis... I was dying laughing!!!

 

[Leafer]

That warms my heart. Facilitating career advancement and personal growth for furniture and appliances is probably the most gratifying part of what I do.