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The confused client and her hard-headed doctor

Thegustaffa

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I have been seeing this lady as a client of mine for about three months now. She was referred to me from another massage therapist, who worked on her for several months before me.

As I work on my client, I always feel these large masses on her thighs right above the back of her knees. I also feel these masses in her upper arms and on the front of her lower legs, but those areas are not as large. When I discussed these problems with the other massage therapist, she ventured to think that the client had fibromyalgia, which was a concern in the back of my mind as well.

Eventually I coaxed the client to get tested for fibromyalgia, but her doctor brushes her requests off like she doesn't know what she's talking about. And to make matters worse, the client's own daughter, who is half her age, was just diagnosed with fibromyalgia last year!!! My client also suffers from arthritis really bad in her knees and shoulders and has vericose veins in her legs which prevents me from doing most deep-tissue work. But the client isn't satisified with the massage unless she feels pain; in her mind, she has to feel pain in order to be relieved of her stresses.

I am at a complete and total loss as to how to help this woman, especially if her doctor won't confirm our belief. Do any of you have any suggestions as to what I could do to make her massage a more beneficial and enjoyable one? Any suggestions would be irrefutably appreciated. :?
 


My only thought is she needs to see a new doctor. Any doctor who does not listen to his patient is almost worthless as a physician. I know insurance can make it difficult, but it can be done. No harm would be done by testing her for fibro, so there is no reason for refusing to confirm or rule it out.
 


My sentiments exactly! But how do you tastefully suggest to someone that they should seek an entirely different doctor? I brought the idea of seeking a second opinion up, but she's content with her doctor's diagnosis.

***THE MOST DIFFICULT CLIENT IN THE WORLD***!!!!!!!! Makes you just wanna SHAKE something!!!!
(And I say that with love) :D
 


Well, that certainly makes it more difficult!! I guess there isn't much you can do. I think I would concentrate on relaxation massage, explaining all the health benefits and how simply reducing stress and increasing circulation can have a huge positive effect on her overall health. Improving the overall health has no drawbacks.
 


I'm with Sharon. Unfortunately, if this client wants to live in pain without so much as a second opinion, that's her choice :( It's hard for us to watch clients in pain that simply won't do anything about it that you KNOW could help, but whaddaya do besides helping her relax and giving her the best care you can. You can lead a horse to water, etc.

But, on another note, a VERY qualified and knowledgeable massage instructor of ours told us that often, Fibromyalgia is what she called a "wastebasket diagnosis". In other words, "we can't find what's wrong with you but we're going to slap an impressive-sounding label on your symptoms." Often, this instructor said, the real cause is trigger points. She mentioned that in a fibromyalgia test, they test a set number of benchmark areas to see which ones are painful and if over a certain number of them are, poof: you have fibromyalgia. Never mind that this person may have been in a car wreck or be on some drug that screws with the neurological/musculoskeletal system(s) and that the patient might be in pain from THAT and it MAY have nothing to do with actual fibromyalgia, which, I believe, STILL hasn't been nailed down to any particular cause yet. It's what most other conditions are in the medical world: forget the cause, create a list of symptoms that we can drug and bill for (at least that's true for some).

Anyway, good luck with your client, and hopefully someday she will "see the light" :)

Peace,
~Jyoti
 


I'm so discouraged, I almost want to stop seeing her as a client. :( I hate not being to help people, but I know I can't help everybody. I kinda want her to have fibromyalgia, just so I can say "I told you so", so she could say "Yes, you were right" and sue her doctor. :twisted:
 
The confused client and her hard-headed doctor

BluHairedFaerie said:
the client's own daughter, who is half her age, was just diagnosed with fibromyalgia last year!!!
Maybe suggest she sees her daughter's doctor? If the daughter is seeing the same doctor, not sure what you could suggest.


I'm thinking cold stones (with hot stones to keep the body warm). The alternating temps will do great things. She probably won't like the temp, the no pain no gain attitude might be good here :)

Aromatherapy http://www.holistic-online.com/remedies/cfs/fib_aromatherapy.htm Only use the junpier if there are no kidney isses and only use the rosemary if there are no blood pressure issues. If there are no liver issues, I'd include carrot seed oil. If her liver is not good, it will make her feel like she has a hangover the next morning, it can stimulate quite a liver detox. With her no pain no gain attitude, she might like feeling rotten the next day.
 


You know, she actually likes the heat therapies I give her, she says it works wonders for her arthritic knees. Maybe I should just run her a hot bath and charge her... :lol:
 


I brought the idea of seeking a second opinion up, but she's content with her doctor's diagnosis.

I hate not being to help people, but I know I can't help everybody. I kinda want her to have fibromyalgia, just so I can say "I told you so", so she could say "Yes, you were right" and sue her doctor.

My thoughts for what they are worth:

She's content. If she's content, then why push so hard? Let her know that you will do the best with what you have to work with, and it may be that she only gets temporary relief. Suggest a second opinion, if she asks, and then just work as normal. Don't promise anything to her except that if she is not getting relief from your methods, that may be the reason to move on or consider that already mentioned second opinion.

As for "suing". I am not a proponent of even thinking this way.

Just do your best, make the proper suggestions and work with what you have. I have a client right now who is going through the same sort of thing. She has seen other docs she's been referred to and doesn't like the dx of her primary - but continues to go back and do what the primary says. Then she comes to me and continues to be in pain. I can only suggest so much. In the end it is up to that individual if they want to seek other options.

Good luck. I am sure you are helping her in some way and once you are comfortable with doing what you can, without the expectation of "fixing" this lady, I figure you'll be at peace with working on her.

:)

PS:
Fibromyalgia is what she called a "wastebasket diagnosis". In other words, "we can't find what's wrong with you but we're going to slap an impressive-sounding label on your symptoms."
Agreed!
 


I would also suggest she see a different therapist. If she's dead set on the pain factor when it comes to the massage, and you're not comfortable doing it..then simply don't.

I have no problem telling a client that needs to find a different therapist to do so. If i can't give you what you want and need, then by all means, find someone else who can.



Are these spots you speak of painful? Is she overweight? Could they possibly just be isolated lumps of adipose tissue?
 


But the client isn't satisified with the massage unless she feels pain; in her mind, she has to feel pain in order to be relieved of her stresses.

I missed this comment.

Are you saying she needs to feel pain everywhere you touch... or she just likes very deep pressure... and wants to "feel it" in certain areas? For instance, could you go deep in her back and make her happy?

This was a good thread with a lot of input relating to "pain and massage" -
Should a massage hurt?
 


Texas-gal wrote:
Are you saying she needs to feel pain everywhere you touch... or she just likes very deep pressure... and wants to "feel it" in certain areas? For instance, could you go deep in her back and make her happy?

No...There is a marked difference between her interpretation of "good firm pressure" and "pain". She likes pressure so deep I'm sure it hurts her at times...She'll just mumble some expletive in her native language like it's all good. I've explained to her on several differemt occassions that good massage DOES NOT equal painful massage, but I may as well be driving a Hummer over her body and I'm sure she'd like it. :twisted:


Spacer wrote:
Are these spots you speak of painful? Is she overweight? Could they possibly just be isolated lumps of adipose tissue?

The spots are painful and hard to the touch, like someone put their hand under her skin...If it is fat, it's hard as H-E-double hockeysticks. She is overweight, but excersizes frequently and eats well. I know she doesn't drink enough water though. I sometimes wonder in the back of my head if she really does exercize and do the homework I ask her to do.

I'm really getting frustrated with this client. I think I'll just continue treating her like normal and try to find someone else, preferably a 300-pound man, to work and twirk her just right.

To IMI ppl: I made an appointment with Irene for her to see this client. I figure if she can't help her, NO ONE CAN! :p Plus we all know what a masochist Irene is... :wink:
 


RE: IMI people: Smart move there kid! I'll be curious to hear how it goes with her! IM me and let me know when! :wink:
 


The appointment is in two weeks. It would have been today, but she had to cancel. I actually got her on the phone last night with Irene to reschedule because she was giving me such a hard time...When Irene got on the phone, she recoiled like a scared kitty! :twisted: Maaaan, I can't *wait* for this appointment! It's going DOWN!!! :lol:
 


She's an elder Finnish lady who is proud of her craft (and with every right) who has been practicing since she was a poor farm girl of 1930's Finland...Who now has made quite a requtation for herself...Check out her webiste.

But man, I feel for her first-time visitors. I'm sure they leave feeling dazed and confused, but somehow happier... :lol: :p
 


I'm getting very confused with the obviously off board discussion comments....

Anyway, Irene sounds like a perfect fit for your client.
 


??? What's confusing? Your opinion would be appreciated too, melb!
 


melb said:
I'm getting very confused with the obviously off board discussion comments....

Anyway, Irene sounds like a perfect fit for your client.

Agreed.

The only thing I am a bit concerned about is that you seem to want "Irene" to "hurt" the client.
she recoiled like a scared kitty! Maaaan, I can't *wait* for this appointment! It's going DOWN!!!
I am not quite following... but I hope it all goes according to plan.
 
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    𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗗𝗔𝗬 𝗮𝘁 𝗔 𝗦𝗣𝗔: 𝗔𝗺𝘆 & 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗥𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗹 🅰️𝐀 𝐒𝐏𝐀🅰️, 28 South Unionville Ave, Unit 5, Markham. 🅰️𝗖𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟳𝟮𝟵-𝟲𝟲𝟬𝟲 𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟴𝟯𝟵-𝟱𝟵𝟲𝟲🅰️ AMY is young and very friendly, standing 158 Cms. with 34C Cups and a very nice bum. Amy is a very popular student, young, sexy, and open minded. She is in demand for her good massage and...
  35. Dreaminn:
    FRIDAY at 💭𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠 𝗜𝗡𝗡 𝗪𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗦𝗣𝗔💭: KELLY, LULU & VIVI. 10225 Yonge St (North of Major Mackenzie), Richmond Hill, ON ☎️ 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟴𝟮𝟵-𝟮𝟵𝟴𝟯 ☎️ KELLY is a young & pretty Asian girl, very slim model figure, 5’3” with unreal bbbj skills & very liberal services. LULU is a very popular & well known Chinese attendant from another spa, very slim and beautiful with 34C Cups and incredible services..
  36. HolidaySpa:
    Friday at 🌴😎🌅𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓢𝓹𝓪🌅😎🌴3517 Kennedy Rd, Unit 4, Scarborough ☎️𝟰𝟯𝟳-𝟮𝟰𝟳-𝟭𝟭𝟵𝟵☎️Cindy & Lina Cindy is a slim & incredibly sexy lady with a smile that will melt your heart, & an ass that will fire up your spirit. Her services are among the best! Lina is very well known for her great services and her impressive shapely ass. Come and see why! You will be glad you did.
  37. ForeverWarden:
    Friday at 🫦❤️🔴🟥♾️𝓕𝓞𝓡𝓔𝓥𝓔𝓡 𝓢𝓟𝓐♾️🟥🔴❤️🫦 2190 Warden Ave, Unit 201, Scarborough 𝟰𝟭𝟲-𝟴𝟬𝟬-𝟳𝟴𝟴𝟳: Cindy, Mia, Nana & Sasa. Cindy is a slim beauty, 5’4”, natural C Cups & wonderfully long nipples. Her massage is nice, her bbbj will drive you wild & her cfs finish is a dream come true. Mia is a Caribbean service queen temptress with incredible curves. She can bbbj like a queen, & is open to dfk & cfs.
  38. bnwellness_wilson:
    Blue Nile Wellness Center, we have 4 young girls are working today, young new sweet Vicky with curve body and young pretty student Summer, young fun sexy Tina and cute GFE Lina are providing deep tissue and sensual massage. Pls call 416-3985777 book appointment and walk in always welcome, back entrance and parking available. 350 Wilson Ave North York
  39. Lulu1980:
    Phoenix blossom Spa ♨️♨️♨️2 new girls 🌹🌹🌹🌹Amy so sexy body 🔥big boost very nice girl 💐💐💐💐💐Lucy so hot sexy service good deep tissue massage 👍👍👍👍5124 Dundas W Etobicoke ☎️416-817-3366
  40. HKWQ:
    Club Dynasty: Some of the shiatsu massuses are way too old!
  41. Sparkling Spa:
    50 LOCKRIDGE AVE UNIT 8!! INTERNATIONAL GIRLS FOR A VARIETY OF APPETITES!!! END YOUR WEEK WITH A WILD TIME WITH JAPANESE CHANEL & TAIWANESE ZOE 905-604-8186!!!
  42. bumika.vashi:
    (((आपको बिना नाटक या नखरे करने वाला सर्विस चाहे तोह याद करना. ))) If you want Service without Drama or Tantrums, Remember it. Will Try To Give You The Best Possible Sweating Experience With Full Company. TAKE MY WORD.?? Don't Waste Your Time And Money In Some Other Place Where You are Really Upset Loosing Out Both Money And Fun. Ok Try With Our Girls Once Then Your Visit Will Be Regular To Me.... _________________N O T E_________________ If u like my services Please Please Do not forget to
  43. Lily Spa:
    ❤️ REWARD YOURSELF! KAJAL, CANDY and KK are here today for your massage needs ❤️ Lily Spa ❤️ 2190 McNicoll ❤️ Scarborough ❤️ M1V 5M2 ❤️ (647) 531-8288 ❤️
  44. Endless Joy Spa:
    ✨✨✨✨✨[GRAND OPENING]✨✨✨✨✨ 💞Endless Joy Spa💞 🎇 (155 East Beaver Creek Rd Unit #8, Richmond Hill) 416-731-8565🎇10am-2am,New First Day Young Slim Sexy Thai Girl Janice, Slim Sexy Chinese Kiki, Young Sexy Curvy Latina Karen, Tall Slim Sexy Chinese Kelly, Young Sexy Chinese Abie.
  45. Lily Spa:
    ❤️ KAJAL, CANDY and KK are here today for your massage needs ❤️ Lily Spa ❤️ 2190 McNicoll ❤️ Scarborough ❤️ M1V 5M2 ❤️ (647) 531-8288 ❤️
  46. Lulu1980:
    Phoenix blossom Spa ♨️♨️♨️table shower body scrub 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹every day 3 girls 🌹🌹🌹New girl Vicy ,sexy body very good body slide 🥰🥰🥰Cici Strong Deep Tissue,Jenny very good table shower body scrub 🌹🌹🌹5124 Dundas W Etobicoke ☎️416-817-3366
  47. Jenny’s Spa:
    🎉🍒JENNY’S SPA🎉🍒 ✅5170 DUNDAS STREET WEST✅ 👌ETOBICOKE ONTARIO M9A 1C4👌 ☎️(647-893-5196)☎️Call or Text ☎️(437-888-3759)☎️Call Only (ETOBICOKE) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅GRAND OPENING💯NEW GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥EXCELLENT MASSAGE + SERVICE QUEENS NOW AVAILABLE AT JENNY’S SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS🔥💯😘🔥❤️👌 🔥TWO BEAUTIFUL NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥REAL PICTURES OF ATTENDANTS💯💯💯 - TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: 🔥 Anna😘- A stunning sexy girl from Hong Kong
  48. Moneylee:
    All season wellness center: Young girl big boobs beautiful face deep massage Tina ,Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament big boobs Cindy ,Young beautiful face sexy body and good deep massage Maggie ,Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Sherry ,🏠address: #5-30 Rambler dr Brampton ,Ontario L6W 1E2☎️4376655510 👅👅🦵🦵🈵🈵👄👄
  49. Moneylee:
    Full season wellness center: New Young girl pretty face big boobs nice figure deep massage Eva , Young girl pretty face nice figure Thai deep massage Vivian,Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament big boobs Anjoo ,Young girl Big breasted saucy naughty Ella,Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Mary. 2560 Shepard ave Mississauga unit 1 ☎️4379857899 🈵🈵👄👄🦵🦵👅👅
  50. Annie Spa:
    🎉🍒ANNIE SPA🎉🍒 ✅7-1001 SANDHURST CIRCLE✅ 👌SCARBOROUGH ON M1V 1Z6👌 ☎️(437) 818-8896☎️ ☎️(416) 291-8879☎️ (FINCH & MCCOWAN) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅NEW MANAGEMENT💯NEW GIRLS🔥🔥 🔥GORGEOUS NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS - TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: 🔥 Cici😘A very beautiful and sexy little fangirl, she has a sexy and petite figure, Cici service is first-class, worth having and trying, she belongs to the elite👍She is very friendly, very cute and exquisite little model!!🥰Real pictures
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