I used both Seeking Arrangements and Secret Benefits. There is no free lunch, you have to pay for the sites to be of any use to you and they are not cheap. I don't know if it happens to everyone, considering that I am one ugly sob (muscular but ugly), I still get well in excess of 100 messages a week. I still get way too many messages from girls, and I am not paying the sites anymore. Frankly, I think the girls only look at one thing, your income and networth. There is no shortage of candidates on those sites, just need time and patience to sift though the garbages.
After my first SB, it took me months to find #2, not exact science but I group the candidates I spoke with in to 4 groups.
- 40% fulltime or parttime escorts looking for above market rate for short time fun, I was not interested in paying $1,000+ for one night stands no matter how pretty the girl is. If the lady's profile picture looks like an escort's picture, she probably is an escort.
- 40% scammers, in this group, I include those girls who wants you to pay for the privilege to go shopping and buy her things with zero/nothing in return; "Hey, lets meet at WEM, we will have dinner at ..., we go shopping, then we see where things go". I have heard too many stories about girls ditching you as soon as they got their fancy meals and expensive gifts.
- 15% who are clueless and unsure what they really want. They don't know why they are doing this, they don't know if they want to do this with you. Some people loves this group but I avoid them, I have too many real life problems, don't need to act like a psychiatrist on my spare time. This category also include those who are "looking for mentors" and honestly stating "NO SEX" in their messages. The younger they are, the more likely they are in this group.
- 5% knows that they want and are truly looking for a long term arrangements.
Just my personal thing, I asked to meet them for coffee first: 1. the escorts don't have time for coffees, they want $300 an hour, 2. the scammers will want to go shopping asap or for you to wire a deposit or a copy of your id for safety reasons..., 3. the clueless ones will spend an hour with you at coffee waffling about whether she should go through with it or not, 4. the true SBs will take the time to talk through various possible scenarios over the next few months/years.
That was a few years ago, things probably changed by now but my buddy did joke that the escort/scammer percentage is higher than ever.