I dont care if anyone reads my posts. All of you could put me on ignore and I would still post the same as I do now. In fact, I advise other forum members to put me on ignore.
You are different. You love the reaction you get from others, as you stated. To me, the reactions I get from my posts make no difference. I will post the same regardless.
A second thing that separates us is that I post what I believe in. My words are my true feelings. You, on the other hand, post words and statements that you often dont believe. You do it to take an atangonistic angle during a debate.
Thirdly, you really care about the outcomes of discussions on this board. You get pissed off and you try to piss others off because you take this board seriously. As opposed to you, I dont take it seriously. I dont care what others say about me or about topics posted on this board.
We are much different people.
You have very low self-esteem. I dont.
I am not saying I am better than you, but my esteem is much higher than yours. For example, I always feel that Asian Angela is in love with me even though her actions towards me would prove otherwise. My esteem is so sky high I tend to think better of myself than others might judge me to be.
You have to work on your own feelings about yourself. I cant help you with that. You have to stop caring so much about what others think of you. Everyone you meet doesnt hate you nor do they like you - in fact, they generally dont care about anyone in their lives. That's human nature.