Male Clients- urgent!

[?SourCherry?]

Hello there,

I have been having a marketing campaign which has been quite sucessful so far- two new (female) clients already. Now I have had two men leave messages after receiving a leaflet.Now, I like giving men a massage, but up to now they have all been men I know, or friends of friends, colleagues of friends etc. As I live on my own I am a bit concerned about my safety having men that are total strangers in my house.
I don't want to just do ladies as I like doing men too, it also seems silly from a business point of view to rule out half the population. Any suggestions?
I know some therapists have a policy that they only see men that have been recommended/ vouched for by an existing client.
I also thought I could mke up a husband and pretend he is in the house- say I can see you on Fri at four as my husband will be home then to chaperone.
Thanks for your help.

Phae

 

[Reergederrask]

My response is to only see clients that you are 100% at ease about having in your practice room

Any doubts at all and do not book them in, regardless of gender

If you do want to see male clients and there is a general concern, around safety etc you could begin by only booking men who have been referred by a friend or client.

Your sense of ease and comfort is paramount.

Is there an option for you to see male clientele in a centre where there are others about..and then you could begin to see them from your place at a later date, once you feel comfortable


tigress




.

 

[Spraynard Kruger]

Hi Phae[/align][/align]You should be able to sort out who is looking for what on the phone, explain what you are and what you do and ask them what is wrong with them or why they are looking for massage therapy.[/align][/align]It is your business at the end of the day and you have to make the choices, you are quite correct that you will lose a lot of work if you become selective of gender, you can also get propositioned from both genders much the same as you would in any other type of work [/align]

 

[ekpnmwfp]

Just to echo what Paul said, I have found that with all my clients discussing a treatment on the phone with them, why they want a massage and what they expect to get out of it usually fishes out any clients you are not comfortable treating.

Mat

 

[steptoe]

I agree with Paul and Matt - usually a few well placed questions on the 'phone tells you what the new client actually wants.

I have to say, though, that I don't think this issue is the problem that many worry it might be. I know you have to comfortable and you need to be safe, but not every man on the planet who calls for a massage is a sex fiend or murderer - when was the last time anyone on the forum heard of a therapist being attacked or abused by a dodgy client? I don't think it actually happens. I have never heard about it. Those kind of people usually respond to obviously dodgy small ads in the free press where both parties know what they are offering and expecting.

If you set up your therapy room in a private place, you need to feel secure working there. Otherwise it would be best to work form a salon or health spa or such like.

Hope I don't sound bolshy about this, but I think that worrinying about what might happen could lose you loads of kosher buisness.

 

[ParDelaaoe]

Thanks for the advice everyone! I have decided to go ahead, pretend that hubby is in the next room and ask questions/ trust my instincts about people.

A valid point about not all men being axe muderers etc. You are probably more likely to get run over by a bus!

Got a chap coming this afternoon, but feel fine about it(I will check for an axe on the way in!)

Thanks again

Phae

 

[Jpaul B.]

I have similar concerns as you but in 2 years of business I've only had one male client that I didn't want to treat. He came through recommendation from an existing client - so you never can tell! I think that your idea about naming certain days 'where your husband is home' is a good safety idea. You would be turning down considerable income not to treat men. Although I have more female clients I find that men spend more money and book more regular treatments.

I think just to add to what has already been said .. many people find that when an 'experience' happens you don't really know how to react .. I didn't ... from sharing stories I gather most therapists end up continuing treatment anyway. Now though, I know exactly what I'd do and say and have practiced this and know that if I ever feel unsure again I shall be asking the client to leave immediately. I would also step outside ahead of the client to ensure that I don't leave myself trapped in the room. You have no obligation to either start or continue treatment if something concerns you .. even if that something is intuition. Just prepare a few scenarios in your mind and decide what you will say etc.

It might sound over conscious to some but when I have a new male client I take care over where I stand in the room, during the consultation I stand nearer to the door than them, until they're on the couch. Basically I always ensure my route to the door is the fastest. I also never lock the door. When my one and only incident occured I felt a bit trapped and couldn't get rid of this guy for about half an hour!!

I'd also advise that if you have a house alarm fitted thenadd a panic alarm to this. Bascially it's a quick trip to set the alarm off at the press of a button. I have one in the room and it would certainly make the 'offender' think again if this was going off. I also sometimes pre-dial my husbands number on a cordless phone and keep it near me so that just one touch of the button would connect us.

Hope this helps .. be prepared but don't let it stop you making a good living!

Sally

 

[Krimson]

SallyH has some excellent recommendations here.

I know that when I set up my practice from home I will buy a ...dog!! exactly, if there's no man around, a dog should deter any bold person (man or woman). I am sorry, but there are quite a lot of mad people out there, and I have to disagree with a previous post saying that sexual harssment/attacks actually never occur...hum: last year, a massage therapist working from home was brutally and seriously sexually attacked by a gang (came in after the "client" was let in), in Bristol.

Always better to be safe than sorry, because if something bad was to happen, I can imagine suddently people having the opposite opinion, saying"well, this women was offering massage from her home and was completely on her own. a bit silly".

 

[Kenzie 229]

Hi phae

I am a qualified hositic therapist and just qualified in beauty thereapy.
I have been a mobile therapist for nearly 4 years and like yourself have only really had male clients that i know of.
i have treated male clients but i have made sure before entering the house that a female is there with them eg, see the female at the front door before entering.
I have also kept my mobile switched on with a 999 setting just in case,
another senario i have took my husband with me,
and your MUST always let other people know exactly were you are going and a approx time that you will be finished and be back home and also get the phone number of the client and pass it on to a freind etc
Also before I would treat a male client i would do a telephone consultation wth them for about 15 mns just to get an idea of them and if i felt uneasy I would say , something like, I am a bit booked up right now I could fit you in for a few weeks time, usually they dont want to wait that long and say oh ok its ok ill get back to u
they usually dont.

hope any of this makes sense and helps you
paula

 

[LilNicole089]

As a belated response to Derek’s question



the thread ‘attracting new clients’ mentioned the case of a female therapist working in Sandbanks (Dorset) who was killed by a sex attacker posing a client (according to one press report, he had assumed that the therapist was a prostitute because she charged £100 for a massage).

I agree that it is very unusual for a female therapist to be attacked; as I commented on the thread ‘attracting new clients’, I think that a great deal depends on the environment in which a therapist is working. Certainly a therapist’s personal safety is more important than her bank balance, but if a therapist is working in a safe environment, then refusing to treat any male clients whatsoever will significantly reduce her potential income. I would agree with ‘Barbarellaboy’s earlier comment that




Alan

 

[mitchel]

Listen there is always a first time for everything! not to scare you! but i have only male clients where i work and i when they ask why i dont do womeni say i don but only from home and the ones to watch out for always ask me if they could come to my house also!!
but i do think that you know from the phone as you explain they ask questions and you know when they are nervous and when there just trien there luck!! always watch out for "and do you do the stomach!" thats how i always figure them out but as working in an all male client based salon i bring them in for consultation and then figure out if there sleezes! or you could just ask a friend or colleague for use of her/his salon just for the consultation for PEOPLE your not sure about!!
good luck with ur new venture!!!
[sm=sandrine.gif]Toodles!!!!!!

 

[Levinia Brady]

I find that the dodgy ones do a couple of things - call late sometimes, OR they call in the day wanting a treatment today - preferably within the next few hours. They tend to ask a lot of questions about what the treatment involves - not what it will help with but what I would do.. if you get a bloke who is all questions like what do you do, how do you do it, do you take your clothes off, is it private, then you probably need to exert caution.

I wouldn't cut men off my list although I sacked one last week for this reason. It's sadly part of what happens - if you are unsure then make sure someone is within shouting distance and be sure they know you are not alone and that's normally enough of a deterrant.

I personally work from home and vet everyone- men and women - to be sure I'm ok with them, I always make sure I'm not alone for the first few treatments and that my other half is in the house. When I've built up a suitable rapport and I feel at ease I will offer a daytime treatment. You have to deal with your safety first. Never treat anyone if you feel you aren't 100% secure.

 

[Cassandra Marshall]

Hi Totally agree - the ones I have not been sure about have always asked for a treatment same day - and have been vague about why they need a massage but ask me a lot about what I do during a treatment. I have it on my website that I onlytreat males by referral but they don't always find me on the website. I will only book them in when I know my hubby will be around and make sure that they see him when they arrive. I also keep my mobile with meand always ensure I am between them and the exit.

 

[Dien]

Hi see my post-missed appointments/male clients,Ive had same [problem and have implemented no appointments available until 3 to 4 days rule as suggested by cola and many other members who replied to me.it works well ive tried it already.also ive changed wording of adverts and watch where i advertise aswell.do see my posting thanks

health and fitness

 

[queen of answers]

Reading this thread through again, one thing strikes me. Of course, anyone workimg in any occupation should always feel safe in their work, but I wonder if we are sometimes confusing two things in posts about therapists' safety?
It's certainly true that there are some men who equate massage with sex workers and who may be confused about what is on offer. But that doesn't necessarily make them dangerous. A person who turns up hoping for sexual services may be regarded as unsavoury (though, of course,it takes all types - not all prostitutes' clients are weirdos!), but he is unlikely to be violent if disappointed. The worst that is likely to happen is embarrassment on one or both sides. Someone who is hoping for sexual services is unlikely to turn into an axe murdereronce he realises his mistake. More likely, I would have thought, is that he will leave with his tail between his legs (as it were!)
So while it might not be pleasant to have a client who makes a wrong assumption, it doesn't necessarily meanhe is likely to be a physical danger to the therapist.
Of course, there are some really dangerous people out there. But they are a tiny, tiny minority, and any of us could come across them at any time in our daily lives - whether we are therapists or not.

 

[gwfnjbyj]

I think that this thread is worth re-reading in the light of the comments which Wand made on a separate thread:



I still think that it is somewhat naive for a legitimate therapist to advertise massage in a local newspaper, unless she is willing to accept that she will have to spend a lot of time on the phone explaining that she doesn’t offer sexual services. I still have the impression that the majority of women who advertise ‘massage’ in local newspapers are actually offering sexual services. Looking at my local paper for last week, there are several women advertising massage. None of them mention any professional qualifications. None of them mention membership of any professional association. Some of them use expressions such as ‘all services offered’. I would like to think that by ‘all services offered’, the advertiser means that she offers remedial skills such as ‘soft tissue release’ or ‘myofascial release’ as well as basic massage. But somehow I doubt it.

I would agree with Supersub that the great majority of men who visit a legitimate masseuse by mistake, when they have been looking for sexual services, will go away “with their tail between their legs”. But, as ‘Toodles’commented in an earlier post on this thread:


And it only took one angry punter to kill the Dorset therapist whose death was discussed on the thread “[link=http://www.healthypages.net/forum/tm.asp?m=255093]Attracting new clients [/link]“. Therefore I still think that it is advisable for a therapist not to advertise in local newspapers.

Alan

 

[Trey]

I agree with Alan, I wouldnt advertise in the newspaper.From my own experience which hasput me off treating male clients who are not recommended by friends or family.

I decided to get a job in a salon that had just opened which was a hairdressers and had a treatment room at the back of the salon. They advertised in the newspaper and all the calls the day I started were wanting extra's!! I knew this as half way through the conversation you could tell that they were after something other than a nice relaxing massage.....

I had one client bolt out the door after I went through his client consultation. I decided not to go back as I didnt feel comfortable at all. Its made me even more worried about treating male strangers. I know that not all men want extra's but I think it will take a bit of time for me to build up confidence to treat men who I do not know.

Hopefully when CPD comes in for therapists this will make a difference and perhaps stop the women who offer extra's advertising in the health and beauty columns.

 

[kAt Go RaWr!!!]

Sadly, I think that this thread is worth re-reading in view of the recent spate of murders of prostitutes / sex workers in Suffolk. Of course I realise that massage therapists are not ‘sex workers’, but as we’ve discussed, if a therapist adopts an over-enthusiastic advertising policy, she is likely to be contacted by men who may hope or assume that she is a sex worker.
On an earlier thread, one contributor (Cola) appeared to criticise me for warning female therapists about personal safety. She commented:



I agree that no therapist expects to be raped by a client, but nobody expects to be involved in a car accident – sometimes the unexpected happens. And I think that Cola’s analogy of a massage therapist and an accountant is misleading. Nobody is likely to make an appointment with an accountant expecting to have sex. But if a therapist adopts an over-enthusiastic advertising policy, then she may well be visited by a client who is expecting sex.

Alan

 

[Shanshannon]

Alan D, I have problems understanding why you think only female therapists have to deal with the client assuming the massage therapist is a sex worker - if a male therapist advertises in what you call an over-enthusiastic manner, a male therapist will be contacted by men who may hope or assume that he is a sex worker. You have admitted in other posts you use minimal advertising, and for some reason you keep telling female therapists they have to do the same thing to be safe. That is certainly one way of minimising exposure to possible clients, which is also a way of minimising income, someone has posted that a male client that was referred to them was looking for something more than a massage - the confused client can be found anywhere, the only way to avoid it is to not take any clients, which is a pretty silly way of running a business.

If someone is prepared to take clients and does not work in a busy clinic/salon environment with other people around, they need to screen the possible clients, it is not difficult, it's got to be done.
In an earlier thread you said...

If the only things you are going to allow asred flagsare overt sexual requests, that is not safe screening of a caller, you would have to consider any unknown male to be a risk, and your concern for male and female therapists that use probably not the wisest advertising options would be needed. With screening beyond overt sexual requests, it significantly lessens any concern. Your recommendation to only consider overt sexual references as red flags is extremely dangerous, yet you say you are very worried about the safety of therapists - that makes no sense to me, you can't berate people for being careful and tell them to be more careful.

What I consider red flags from unknown male callers:
- wanting a same day appointment (so I never let them have a same day appointment, regardless of their reasons - there are plenty of therapists that work in busy clinic/salon environment they can see, they don't HAVE to see me, my ego is not that big.There is no such thing as a massage emergency, no-one has died from not having a massagetoday. I get the 'no appointments available' into the phone call as quickly as possible, even if it is talking over them with "when are you looking for an appointment?" cuts down on everyone wasting time -since I've started getting that in as quickly as possible, the conversation almost always finishes there and never gets onto the following points.......)
- discussion about draping (asking if draping is used, is almost a red flag, when they get the 'yes, draping is used' answer, if it goes on from there totry to discuss it further,it is a red flag).
-discussion about groin/glutes/abdominal massage (if there is such a specific muscle issue, a sports massage therapist will probably suit them better anyway)
- asking if it is afull body massage, with an emphasis on FULL - the next question is usually 'how much extra to get everything massaged?'
- questions about what I will be wearing
- questions about a side or a back entrance because they don't want to be seen walking in (I've had callers hang up when they find out parking is not a problem - they don't wa

 

[uvyeegqp]

Cola

Thanks for such a detailed reply. I would just like to clarify that, contrary to the impression that I seem to have inadvertently given you, I accept that male therapists are potentially at risk from homosexual male clients (just as female therapists are at risk from heterosexual male clients). That is precisely why I have adopted a minimal advertising policy: although I have a general massage qualification as well as a sports massage qualification, I only ever advertise myself as 'sports massage'. And I only advertise myself on professional websites (SMA/LSSM) and at three local running clubs: I certainly wouldn't advertise in local newspapers or 'Yellow Pages'.

Alan