Chat Jokes please

[cupcrazy]

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[snoopdoggie]

The Costco Doctor
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind
him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine
sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do
about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars - A lot cheaper than a doctor."
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco.
He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample.... He pours the sample into the slot and waits..
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity.. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @
Costco.."
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe
began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good
measure.
Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results.. He deposits
ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results .
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm.. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours... Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
Thank you for shopping @ Costco!

This is incredible technology. Who needs health insurance now?

 

[snoopdoggie]

View attachment 276804

Don't we all?

 

[snoopdoggie]

View attachment 276803

Your girlfriend is crazy about it.

 

[snoopdoggie]

View attachment 276802

Isn't that what the insurrectionists were doing in the Capitol building?

 

[snoopdoggie]

View attachment 276798

This kid is a genius!

 

[snoopdoggie]

View attachment 276797

It's an ad for Viagara!

 

[snoopdoggie]

View attachment 275918

It seems the owner is a little upset.

 

[snoopdoggie]

View attachment 276806

They should let us watch the Canadiens playoff games for free too!

 

[snoopdoggie]

View attachment 273028

Cars exported to the States don't need them either. It's just a waste of money. But hey, it's a make work project.

 

[snoopdoggie]

Did you hear how Trump responded when he was asked how he dealt with hurricane Florence? He paid her the same as Stormy Daniels.

 

[snoopdoggie]

Why do the Republicans continue to support Drunk Trump? Because they really believe in taking a baby to full term.

 

[snoopdoggie]

Abraham Lincoln couldn't tell a lie.
Richard Nixon couldn't tell the truth.
Donald Trump can't tell the difference.

 

[BmH6769]