Is it sexist to specify ladies only for mobile massage?

[gwettucbijaifgewd]

Hi there, I am qualified in swedish massage and am hoping to start up a mobile massage service. My hubby is a bit funny about me massaging other guys, and I must admit I could feel a little insecure as a mobile therapist if I was massaging a new male client alone in their house.

Is this quite a common issue or am I being silly, and would it be considered sexist to advertise for female clients only?

Best wishes
xx

 

[foyrwnmg]

No, it's not 'sexist' at all - it is entirely up to you as to your client base.

 

[ashlee_mcholland19]

no thats not sexist at all. its your busness so your rules. also its a very wise precaution when doing mobile work. loads of mobile therapists do this.

a way around it would be to say that their wife/partner must be in the house.

the majority of clients will probably be women anyway.


good luck
saffron

 

[Donnie]

HI there, hope you dont mind me replying to your post, Can you not work from a centre or health club and treat men where there are other people. If you treat females you might be missing out on potential business from the men! The ladies you hope to treat will have partners, hubbies, Dads, Sons etc etc. I can understand your concerns. So if you can treat the men at a centre then you are not missing out on any '£'s' Just an idea.

Good luck with the setting up!

 

[loz]

A friend of mine is a mobile therapist and will only massage female clients UNLESS they are the partner of or introduced byone of her well established clients - so the man getting a massage knows she is a good and professional masseuse and she knows that there'll be no funny stuff! You cannot be accused of being sexist in this kind of market as you could refuse to treat a client for all sorts of reasons - too heavy for your massage table, contraindications etc and should anyone try and take a case against you I think you would have the same cover as any service industry that can refuse to accept a customer (e.g. restaurant/pub etc)

 

[Alarma]

Hi,
no it's not at all sexist! I never do home visits for men, and don't see them in my home either - but I do rent clinic space each week where I see male (and female) clients.

I've never had the slightest problem with male clients but I would like to keep it that way

Clare

[link=http://www.bodytherapies.co.uk]www.bodytherapies.co.uk[/link]

 

[Hawaiian Bruddah]

Hi there, thanks everyone.

I don't personally have a problem with male clients, I just wouldn't want to put myself in an unsafe situation. I may well look into renting clinic space, that seems a good idea.

Thank you so much for all your replies! xx

 

[Mursal M]

It's a delicate one, isn't it? Are you safer with a big, toughlesbian client or with a weedy gay man? Sorry to be blunt, but no-one seems to want to mention sexual harrassment, which is 95% of the cause of anxiety.

I understand the basis for wanting to be selective in your client base, but it raises questions which shouldn't be ignored. If we're going to make these exclusions I think it's important to be fully aware of them. If you can exclude perfectly innocent clients of one category from your lists, isn't it the same as excluding perfectly innocent people from another category? What about people with HIV? Or fat people? Or people who don't share your ethnic origins? Imagine a doctor, a plumber or a taxi driver only accepting certainraces / genders / shapesof customer...

My feeling as a massage therapist is that part of my job ( - and this can be hard work! - )is to use the healing touch without fear or favour, in a spirit of unconditonal positive regard, unless agreedboundaries are crossed. This include a raft of rules which include personal hygiene, honesty, seeing a doctor for medical conditions, courtesy and appropriate behaviour.If someone does cross those boundaries I'll hit the panic button, leave the room or chuck them out as quickly as the next therapist, and heaven forbid it should ever be necessary but I would sue without hesitating. But not unless someone breaks that contract of trust.

Is there some possible solution involving chaperones? Easier to require when working from home than when you're mobile, but perhaps worth thinking about.

So yes, you must do what you feel is right, but I heard a lot of unethical talk during my training from tutors who were "fortunate enough" not to need to work on men. It left a very nasty taste behind.Please let's be clear about what we're doing and why.

Love and light
BigVoice
[sm=cat.gif]

 

[Bearbeast "AGAIN"]

I think some great points have been made.

I originally intended to treat only women, however I have found the majority of my clients for massage treatments are male.

Yes it is sexist to stipulate women only, and yes equal opportunities and sexism acts say youshould treat everyone alike, however, if you feel that in giving mobile treatments you may be at risk you are quite within your rights to stipulate who you see and in what setting. This applies at home too. I have only once treated a new male client when I was alone in the house. Your security is paramount. If you feel threatened or uncomfortable treating someone, you wont give them the best treatment you can offer, this will benefit neither of you.

Another point I feel that I need to make and I do hope this comes out the right way.. you are a professional and this is your job, you are in it cause this is the career path you wish to walk and one you believe and those around you believe you are good at. You would treat a male client the same as a woman, that there is no intimacy in it and that you will behave in an appropriate and professional way regardless of their gender.

 

[Monsieur Rick]

I dont think its sexist either. My husband is the same as yours. Especially if your going to your clients house.
I would like to run my own clinic oneday especially for woman and make it a really nice enviroment for woman with aromatherapy.
For those who think it is sexist have to come to realise that men and woman are different ,yet both equal.

SOI ENCOURAGE YOU TO DO YOUR THING!

 

[Orphianold]

I don't think it's sexiest to choose to treat females only! This is your career and your choice! I treat both male and female's in my treatment roomat home. Not one of my female clients have enquired to whether or not I provide any extras! More than a couple of male(new) and swiftly ex clients have! Im fortunate to havesomeone nearby at all times!Your safty is paramount! Do not feel bullied into workingwith males in a secluded situation! Tara x

 

[Dewayne]

My husband is exactly the same - I'm only training at the moment, so any male client would be a friend of both of ours, but he's not happy at all.

I think this is a very tough one. I would want to make sure I had someone nearby, but as a purely mobile therapist, that would be very hard for you, I guess. I like the idea of the referrals only from established clients, but otherwise, I'd go with the "no males" idea. It may at first glance be sexist, but unfortunately it is with good reason. Good luck in what you choose.

Nellx

 

[Angi]

Its a difficult one. I don;t mind massaging anyone male or female, I am after all a body work professional! From a safety point of view going to a strangers house could be dodgy male or female.
Any mobile therapists out there got any advice/experience to add to this?
xx

 

[Jim J]

Hi,

I am a beauty therapist..not working in beauty at moment coz too busy with horses...however, I have worked from a salon and from my own home.

This is a tricky one...a lot of the clients who would like a massage are men, very often men who have physical jobs. For example, I used to treat men such as builders, plumbers, drivers, musicians...all sorts of people who often had a very good reason for wanting a massage. Pampering and the enjoyment of a massage is a good reason..but often..people like this have aches and pains...and a massage helps them.

I used to do infra red lamp and all that as well, so I was wanting to help people for this reason as well..being a horse rider I understand about aches and pains..and stiff muscles.

Mostly the men I came accross in either situation were very good people and no trouble at all..further more because so many of them needed their treatment as well as just wanting it..and often it was to help with work..they were reliable and appreciated the service.

However, the downside...I did find that in advertising, "beauty therapies," and I did not tend to put anything especially to do with massage, that frequently i would have silly people phoning up and making silly requests etc.

I am pretty confident that my adverts would have made it very clear what was on offer and I am convinced that no one should be confused..however other people doing the same thing have found the same as me..it does seem to attract some perverts.

I was always fairly careful when booking clients, male or female to try and avoid a situation that would put me at risk or make me uncomfortable. Usually no problmes...but I must be honest...i did expreience the odd bad client..ie men who think a massage must lead to something intimate, and various behaviours that would be worrying..occasionalyl threatening.

I know it sounds bad..but I am afraid to say that the only clinets who gave me any of the trouble were hetrosexual males(as far as I know). I have had no trouble with lesbians or anyone else.

I hear what you are saying Bigmouth...but these risks are real and legitimate concerns for ladies.

Also, it might be wise..even if you wish to treat men to at first limit them...they can sometimes be harder physically for women to massage..and if you get busy you will find it hard work while you become fitter and stronger..this is a very physical job.

If you are uncomfrotable massaging men then you do not need a reason..you must work in a way that is right for you. Your comfort and well being are much more important than money.

A few ideas to keep safe with all clients...because females could be a problem as well..

[ul][*]Word adverts carefully and make it look professional, be careful which papers use use and check the section. Include qualifications..perhaps mention health reasons for the service you offer as well as relaxation etc. Stress relief is not a good thing to say for example.[*]Listen carefully to what potential clinets say when they phone you up, if they sound odd, try to confuse, embarass you or you are not happy...don't tke the risk. Some people phone up and rather than come out with something rude in a straightforward way..they can make vague insinuations that leave you wondering if they are being inappropriate..or if you are being silly and over sensitive. Go with your gut reaction and use common sense.[*]With new clinets..is there any chance you could treat people from your home? and prehaps have someone about the place.[*]When entreing a stranger's house you do run a risk, whether they are male or female, whether there are other friends or family memebrs about.[*]when booking a client...ALWAYS take a full name, landline number and address..make sure the number given is not false.[*]Do not bother with people who withhold information.[/ul]

 

[Linz]

Hmmm? tricky as everyone has noted from many points of view, and especially from the safety angle. I think that being specific about the gender of clients in the mobile environmentis prudent - but not actually very fair.

Let me look at this from another angle - I assume in all this discussion that Peppermintmoon is a female therapist? What if this was not true, and was in fact a male therapist - would the stipulation to only treat female clients still be OK? Just food for thought - I would welcome some comments!

In fact I can see three pragmatic (read - tongue in cheek!) solutions for Peppermintmoon :-

[ul][*]Only treat pregnant clients - which by definition (I hope!) makes for an all female client base[/ul]

[ul][*]Have your insurance company restrict your insurance to female only clients - that way you would not be legally able to treat men and hence would not be open to sex discrimination legislation.[/ul]

[ul][*]Set up your practice, advertising etc. as a male therapist - and then dress in male clothes, lower your voice etc etc. i.e. pretend to be a male therapist. This should be an interesting and safe way to see the other side of the therapist gender coin. In fact you could pretend to be a partnership ofAdam andEve and choose your therapist gender to suit the client.[/ul]

In fact the last idea sounds so good that I am tempted to shave my beard and go the TV therapist route ....

Not wishing to belittle the very real concerns of safety for mobile female therapists - but wishing to use some humour to look at the whole gender issue from a different viewpoint

At the end of the day being a massage therapist is tough whatever your gender and you need to make individual choices that allow you to work in a safe and rewarding way,and make a living.

InTouch

 

[Mohamed M]

Hi,

I really do think that safety for females in any circumstances has to be very important.

I really do believe that nearly all men will not give a problem to anyone, I am certain that most people do not wish to give trouble to anyone else. However it is the small percentage who do give trouble and the result of this can be extremely distressing..one bad experience is enough.

For many a small risk such as this is not worth the risk and each person should be respected for their choices.

it does seem that at times massage can attract that tiny percentage of unpleasant people...from nuisance phone callers to people who seem reasonable and turn up and half way through a treatment behave in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable..and yes they know what they are doing is not nice..to the much more serious offenders.

But again there are the millions of men who are wonderful clients and people...a hard one I know.

i think you are at risk as a mobile therapist..safer to work in a centre with others about,

hal

 

[kellie f]

knowing a male massage therapist who has found it difficult to establish himself, I can see how such a question can be almost too much..

However, there is scope for discussion...

For example, in traditional Ayurvedic massage, a woman will only be massaged by a female therapist and a man by a male one....it is done so that the client can completely relax with no ambiguity, self-consciousness,etc...

I have personally been massaged by male and female masseurs. I really enjoyed the massage by the man. Reason being very simple: big warm hands moulding my shoulders or reassuringly covering the back...On the other hand, I strongly felt the therapist was gay (I know this may be interpreted the wrong way by some readers but it is my feeling) and therefore felt the atmosphere was "neutral", so I felt less self-conscious and more relaxed.

However, a gay or heterosexual masseur stillimplies some limits for me, as the receiver: when I talked about being massaged on the chest (chest tighness), like I saw in a few books being practised, the male therapist went rapidly into a self-protection load of correctness-rubbish. I really needed the work on the chest and if lying breast bare (like I do with my male osteopath and there is no problem) or even wearing a bikini is a problem for him, then I feel men should massage men and women massage women....I know he did not know me and thought I might have been testing him, but this underlined the limits in a man-woman treatment. I will now go for a female one, especially that I could talk about more stuff (periods,etc).

As for a female therapist treating women only: what is the problem? If all men were (openly)bisexual and could fancy men as well as women, I have no doubt male therapists working as mobile masseurs would think twice before entering a male client's house...

Of course, being a woman does not mean one is peace-loving, gentle andbalanced. Let's just picture a saturday night in any (british) city centre and remember the eternal feminine essence....I have seen sober or drunk women attacking men (at home), even police men on saturday nights (just ask any taxi driver for top stories). women seem to become more aggressive these days...well, it is only my opinion. But each time a car nearly run over my feet it was...a woman! sometimes she would even make the finger gesture to me!

Well, all this has gone far beyond the initial question.

In short, no it is not sexist. It does imply of course that some men can be dangerous, and this is the sad reality. (but women are catching up!). Being a mobile therapist - not trying to alarm you - is a bit risky. Try to operate in a way where you can find out as much as possible from the client: family/partner/job/permanent address?/since how long...I doubt these are the usual question a therapist would ask, but I am just trying to think of what I would like to know myself if I was mobile.

And last...is asking for a female gynecologist or a female chaperon to be presentwhile a male one examines you sexist??

 

[rrteytan]

I think that Fadette has made some very interesting points, although some of them may take the thread off at a tangent.



My impression is that many men (including myself) have an instinctive preference for a female therapist (unless the male therapist is someone whom they already know), because of fears that a male therapist may be homosexual. I have never seen a report of a male therapist being accused of indecently touching male clients, but there was a report in the London papers last year of a male hospital worker being convicted and imprisoned for indecently touching male patients. Indeed Fozzyo made precisely this point when he began the thread entitled ‘sexual discrimination in massage therapy’:


There is some good discussion of this subject on that thread.

I was also surprised by Fadette’s comment



Personally I am surprised that Fadette’s therapist should behave in this way, but I think that this is more relevant to the earlier thread on towel coverage, so I’ve added my comments to that ‘draping’ thread.

Alan

 

[Ron Burgundy]

Some great responses, I'm actually thinking of having a treatment room at home now, and maybe only doing home visits for those people I know.

Does or has anyone here actually worked as a mobile massage therapist or is it generally considered too risky?

xx

 

[som]

One of my LSSM colleagues worked for many years as a mobile therapist. For safety reasons, she never advertised: she relied entirely on word of mouth and personal recommendations (it helped that she had formerly been quite a well-known athlete and gained her initial clients through her athletics connections!) I would suggest that my advice about advertising for therapists working from home (see the thread ‘massages from home to earn money’) applies equally to mobile therapists.
Don’t forget that if you are a mobile therapist you will have to account for travelling time, so you should charge significantly more when you visit clients than when clients visit you!

Regards

Alan