kids

THIS IS TOO SWEET FOR WORDS!!! A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand. "That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought it out completely?"...

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright...

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table...

Go look up ANDREW DICE CLAY'S DIRTY NURSERY RHYMES!! :ok:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats. > 2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. > 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. > 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato...

:lmao: :lmao: thats a good one Ive never heard that one before :lol:

LMFFAJF IAJF. LMFAO. :lmao:

:lmao: those were good! And I agree.... where can one find a smooth one? ;)

Reasons not to mess with a kid A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by...

Jack's mother ran into the bedroom when she heard him scream and found his two-year old sister pulling his hair. She gently released the little girl's grip and said comfortingly to Jack, "There, there. She didn't mean it. She doesn't know that hurts." She was barely out of the room when the...

Why GOD created children Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said was, "DON'T!" "Don't...

ahahaha :lol: :clap

A first-grade teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word fascinate in it. A little girl stands up and says, ''Walt Disney World is so fascinating.'' The teacher says, ''No, that's not correct. I said, fascinate.'' Another little girl stands up and says, ''There's so...

You Are Different and That's Bad" "Dad's New Wife Timothy" "Pop! Goes The Hamster . . . And Other Great Microwave Games" "The Hardy Boys, The Barbie Twins, And The Vice Squad" "Babar Meets The Taxidermist" "Curious George And The High-Voltage Fence" "The Boy...

Kids Again! Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?" The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous." The first kid says, "You've...

Kids The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, " Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my...

Kids & Dads! A man walks into a drug store with his 13-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?" To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms,son....Men use them to have safe sex." "Oh I see," replied the boys...

A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?", says the 7 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing." The 4 year old nods his head in approval. "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first, then You swear after me, OK?" The 4...

My boyfriend and i have been together two years now. He's been divorced since before he got with me, and i've been separated since before i got with him, and now my divorce is almost final! Yay! He hangs out with me and my children allthe time, and he's been around my parents a lot, but i...

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved. The boys` mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in...