Why won't my boyfriend introduce me to his family?

[That's Bananas!]

I've been seeing this great guy for about 5 months now. Things are going great, and I couldn't be happier with him - I stay at his place like every night and he's told me he loves me.

Anyway, about 2 months ago his sister and brother came to town and I couldn't stay over because they were and he'd have no space. I didn't push the envelope, but he made no effort to introduce me, saying that he "didn't think it was all that important". When I came back to his place after they left he'd hidden my toothbrush and dvds and stuff.

Now his sister is coming up again in 2 weeks, and he's already told me he doesn't want me to stay over that weekend because "it's a loft apt and I wouldn't want it to be awkward."

What should I do? I feel really hurt by this. Do you think he doesn't really love me, or is ashamed of me or something?
I'm 28 - he's 29...

 

[Andie]

I'm sorry to say it but if he is not introducing you and hiding all evidence that he has a girlfriend then he is not ready to be in a relationship. I suspect that he is just saying he loves you so he can sleep with you. You should dump him.

 

[toad]

He might be ashamed of his famlies manners or something . likes maybe their actions might run you off. Drop by and return a DVD you"borrowed" check them out don"t let on you all are going together.YOu can see what happens from there, then you will probably know way the wind is blowing.

 

[Jane Marple]

Why don't you just show up at his door pretending you need a dvd you left there.!

Could be many reasons he acts that way.

1. You're just a bedroom partner
2. You're not up to his standard and is embarrassed
3. He already is in a relationship with someone living away
4. He's note divorced and he's suppose to be working on getting back with his wife.

ADD: I agree with kehindeodulate.....the sister might as well be the girlfriend.

 

[ansmenam]

A whole host of possibilities could be going on here.


With this family:

1. His family may disapprove of premarital sex. Perhaps they are very religious and would be unhappy to learn that you spend the night there.
2. He may be embarrassed by his family. Perhaps he doesn't want to change your impression about him based on how you perceive his family.

With this honesty:

1 Perhaps it is what the others have said and he is really seeing someone else ( a long distance relationship).

2. Perhaps, although he says he loves you, he isn't being completely honest and doesn't to introduce you to his family because, as he said "didn't think it (your relationship) was all that important"

With him:

Maybe he really and truly feels awkward with having both you and his family stay in his apartment. It might just make him uncomfortable.

Regardless of his reason, you must tell him how you feel. Suggest that you all go out together somewhere (dinner) just to meet. Make it clear that you won't be expecting to go back to his place with him and spend the night with his family there. If his problem is his family, or himself, this compromise should work out. If, on the other hand, he is up to no good, he'll have every excuse in the book for why his family and you can't meet.

Good Luck

 

[@N$W3R$]

He might be embarressed incase someone does something really embarrassing. Don't take it personally

 

[kehindeodulate]

I dont think they're family coming down I think he might be in a long distance relationship or something like that which prevents her being there regularly, but I think the person who comes down to see him is his girlfriend & he uses you to fill the time that she's away.

Men can be incredibly sneaky/sly & they will lie about any and everything trust me you think you know them but they will show you, you dont.

Goodluck.

 

[Toxic Panduh]

"What should I do? I feel really hurt by this"

Address the issue and tell him that you aren't staying at his place (or giving up sex) until such time as he is willing to introduce you to his family. There is something funky going on and the only way to to find out the truth is to force it out into the open.

 

[black&proud]

It's obvious, he has something he is hidding from you and doesn't want his family to see you. You should confront him.

 

[Hi!]

Maybe they might beat you.

 

[amber]

you need to tell him what you think ... my man was happy to introduce me to his family , he could be hiding something