Why won't he introduce me to his friends?

[Anonymous]

So I met this guy a couple of months ago, and we've been dating for about a month. Both in our mid-20s. We've gone on like 4-5 dates, and we've had a blast. My only concern right now is that he hasn't really warmed up to the idea of hanging out with each other's friends...or family for that matter. I asked him once to come out with me and my friends in the city for a night and he said I should "just spend time with my friends", and that it might be too soon to "meet new people". I also mentioned that I was going up to the Poconos this break with a girl friend, and he said that he would love to go sometime with me, but just with me. We talk on the phone very frequently, and text throughout the day. I don't know, is this weird?

I'm not sure if he's just afraid to move things on too fast (I'm all about taking things slow), but I personally don't think it should be that big of a deal to meet friends of one another. He also lives in his parents' basement (paying rent, of course), and one time I stayed overnight and he was very reluctant to having me meet his parents. I'm not sure if this is just something to do with moving too fast, or if he's just looking for a fling or something. When he talks about meeting my friends or vice versa, or meeting his family, everything has gone back to not ready "yet". Like he said he wasn't sure if I was up for meeting his friends "yet", or that he didn't know if he should explain our relationship to his family "yet". Is this bad? Or is this normal for only dating for a month?

I also just got out of a 3 year relationship a few months before I met him, so I'm not sure if that has anything to do with him acting this way? He has asked about my ex a few times and if I ever thought I would get back together with him.

A guy's insight would be extremely helpful, in addition to you ladies =)

 

[jon]

It's a simple situation that you, as a typical woman, are complicated with over-analysis. Let me clarify it for you.
When he is with his friends, he wants to be with his friends.
When his with you, he wants to be with you.
Currently, he does not want to be with you and his friends at the same time.
He also does not want to be with you and your friends at the same time.
He barely knows you. He wants to get to know you. Guys behave differently around their friends then they do when they're around women they are interested in. Not because we're trying to hide who we are, but because we're trying to impress you and a lot of our behavior when we're around our buddies is not very impressive to the ladies. So let it be.
When I think of a few of the worst things I could do, spending time with my girlfriend and her friends ranks right up there at the top. Guys do not want to hang out with the girls, it's boring, it's not interesting to us, we would rather be home alone watching tv or playing video games than spending time with you and your friends anywhere. So let it be.

See him when you have time to be alone and to give him your full attention and so that he can be himself in all his best behavior because he's probably a really good guy who tends to act like an ass now and then with his bros.

 

[Mason S]

It sounds like he is just shy, but I wonder why he would think it's bad to meet your friends? Maybe he would be ashamed of telling people that he lives with his parents? I don't know, just a thought

 

[CHINADOLL901]

Sometimes people feel like moving to fast will mess up the relationship. Only thing you have to do is let him warm up to you first and then introduce him to your family/friends.

 

[Pedo Bear]

Because he knows what his friends will say... it will go like this:

(introductions happens)
Friend says: Dude where the sammiches?
Your BF say: O shit dude
Friend says: Everyone knows that a woman is not to leave the kitchen with out tasty sammiches
your BF: Get your a$$ back in the kitchen woman and make me and my lads some tasty sammiches before i have to slap you around