Treating male clients please help!

[Uttam]

Hi all

I run a complementary therapy business for my home, when I first started up the business I had a lot of men ringing up obviously wanted services of a sexual nature, anyway first of all I decided to to say no to all men but that did not seem sensible from a business point of view so I decided to treat men, anyway I phone screen them before they come , but the point isI just never feel comfortable treating men, no one has ever tried anything deviant yet but their is one man in particular I feel very uneasy around and I cannot explain why. Doyou thinkthis feeling will go when I have had the practice up and running longer or maybe fornowI should just be treating women. Has anybody else experienced this problem? please help.

 

[Leesha]

Hi Kate,

I think you should perhaps listen to your intuition when it comes to treating men (and anyone else). If you feel at all uncomfortable or uneasy, it is best to listen to your inner self and politely decline a treatment.

It might be better even if you could only treat male clients when there is someone else there for example. This may change the way you feel.

But for now, why not just stick to treating female clients if you are more comfortable with them, and when your business and confidence is expanding, perhaps open your client base to accept male customers?

Don't worry though - plenty of people on here feel the same way, so you are not alone!

Love & light,

Crystal xxx

 

[Jeff S]

Not another Male Client thread.Why is treating male clients different from treating female clients? are there no dubious female clients? Kate if men are phoning up asking about sexual services where are you advertising? use a bit of logic.

 

[frienaign]

I think this is unfair. Most female therapists (and possibly some male therapists) have had some dodgy calls. I advertised for a year only in the Yellow Pages about three years ago, under Complementary Therapies, with my Professional Association letters after my name and listing all my therapies. I always say I do holistic massage, rather than just massage. Now I only advertise on health websites, but still getthe odd strange request. Unfortunately it's an occupational hazard.

Having said that, I've always been comfortable with any male clients I have treated and find that they are often the most regular clients.

Lesley

 

[Mama Outlaw]

Scorpio,

Obviously if Kate feels uncomfortable, why not 'another male client thread'?

It oftenhas nothing to do with whereabouts you advertise; the fact is some men do target complementary/alternative therapists, regardless of the fact of they are not actually offering 'extras'.

I would have thought that as a new member on here, we should be offering Kate support, not patronising her.

Use some logic perhaps Scorpio?[sm=soapbox.gif]

 

[rR918]

Well, SCORPIO, I was going to phrasereference to former threadsa little differently and, in welcoming Kate1 to HealthyPages, post a link to a thread on this topic from earlier in the year which she may find useful. Here it is:

[link=http://www.healthypages.net/forum/fb.asp?m=363904]http://www.healthypages.net/forum/fb.asp?m=363904[/link]

There is also the 'sticky' on safety for therapists which is pinned to the top of the General Therapies forum, here:

[link=http://www.healthypages.net/forum/fb.asp?m=422530]http://www.healthypages.net/forum/fb.asp?m=422530[/link]

Holistic

 

[uaebvukrifaiygeqg]

Hi Kate
To be honest i advertised on yell.com (surely a logical place to advertise)?for two years under comp therapies and that is where most of my phone calls asking for sexual services came from!!! So you don't have to advertise in the back pages of the newspaper to get dodgy calls!!!
Most of the men i treat now are from referals which makes me feel happier than just cold calling. Just see how it goes and like crystalwitch says stick with females for a while

Love and sparkles
Lisa
xx

 

[Mara]

I think we were all posting at once here, and still are but hopefully my postabove redresses the balance.

Holistic

 

[Caboose]

Yep as this is the place to come for support!!!!!

Good luck to you Kate xxx

 

[Kirsten Erin]

Apologies if my comment was overly direct and yes support should always be available im shocked that people are trawling through yell.com, that is low and ruins it for genuine male clients.I have massages as part of my training routine and have encountered predjudice against males but i figure its only a minority,like most things in life there is always a minority who will ruin it for everyone else.Best wishes to you Kate.

 

[x0NiightMare0x]

Hiyas Kate, welcome to HP. It's a fun place here.

Scorpio, over the last 19 years, I've had jobs in all sorts of places/enviroments, in virtually all walks of life/career paths, there is always the small minority of NUTCASES who ruin it for the rest of society (in that context, place/enviment/work/gender).

 

[Hans]

Hello Kate

You have to be comfortable with the people you treat or the treatments will suffer, if you are not confident in your own ability to handle a male then simply do not treat them, or you could see if there is a room to hire at a local therapy centre where there will be others around and treat any new clients there for a while.

Unfortunately most therapies are a one to one experience, yes we all get an occasional person who we would probably not treat again for one reason or another, most people can be assessed on the phone, there are a few topics on this subject, at the end of the day you have to decide what is right for you, as in all businesses you offer to do a service for x-amount of money or whatever, you can withdraw the offer if you no longer wish to carry on and perform the service

 

[jeffrey e]

Itotally agree with what Paul has said, if you're not comfortable with someone, for whatever reason, the treatment will suffer.

Another idea is offer female only type treatments - I do a lot of pregnancy massage and the only males I've had enquiring about that have been for gift certificates, I've not had a single male want to book in for a pregnancy massage When people ring up and ask what kind of massage do I do, I always say 'pregnancy massage' second or third, itgets rid of people looking for extras pretty quickly, though I've had 2 males over the years ask if I am pregnant. One drawback, or advantage, to pregnancy massage is you only see someone for a few months - I quite like having a fairly high turn over of clients, and I do continue to see some once they have had the baby.

 

[J-Dawn]

hi kate,
welcome to the site .
Im sorry to say there are some sad people out there who have to upset us by these calls, i myself have had few calls but try to not let you put you off. My hubby wanted me to stop doing male clients but no why should i men do need a massage just as much as woman!!
The men i do have as clients are very nice people and have never asked for extras. they just want a massage because they are stressed or back pain.
If you have a website just put a policy then hopefully you wont get any more calls.
good luck kathy

 

[ajwooding]

Hi all

Thank you for all your support, it is good to know that their are other therapists who have had the same problem. When it comes to advertising I have learnt a lotgoing along,I started outby advertising in my local paper which was when a lot of thehorrible phone calls happened, so I changed the wording which stopped most of the ungenuine callers , but I wouldstill like to find a way of attractingwomenbecause they have been few and far between ,I wonder whether they do not ring because they think I offer something dodgy?, but do not get me wrong I have nothing aganist treatingmen, but I do find myself feeling anxious whena male client comes to my house for the first time.

Kate

 

[nrsubraz]

I had a free listing in yellow pages for a few years, it said my name and baby massage after it. I thought that would sort out the dubious clients and although prevent me from getting massage clients would hopefully get some baby massage clients.

I had one MAN ring me and ask he could weara nappy.
I had one MAN ring me and ask if I was the person advertising baby massage, to which I replied that I was. he then asked if I would visit him in his hotel room and tidy his room for him!

So, no matter how carefully you word your adverts, some people will misconstrude it to fit in with sex.

I have been practising for over 10 years, I have had about 20-30 disturbing phone calls in that time, all from men.

Once when I put my details on one of the free ads on the internet (can't remember which one now) I had a spate of calls to my home number, always on a weekend after closing time asking for me to visit them that night.I had one man ring me at 4am Saturday morning politely asking me if I was 'open for business'.

I now omit my home phone number from anything on the web.

 

[Guriqbal]

Kate, I don't think it's anything personal at all. As I said on another thread, it's very unusual for women to respond to adverts in newspapers or the Yellow Pages. I've had slightly more success with leaflets if they're left in a respectable place such as the doctor's surgery or a respected health food shop.

But most women like to be recommended (and they see leaflets in such places as recommendations), whereas men often don't discuss having treatments with their friends or family and are happy to pick a name out of a phonebook.

Lesley

 

[Answers]

I agree Aromabae. Nice laeflets, in nice places!
- Mine are a bifold style, with a bit about each of the therapies I offer + a mini CV - to introduce myself, with prices / contact details on the back.
Doctor's receptions, dentists, health food shops, local ladies gym, hairdressers etc. Get plenty printed, they'll disappear fast, but you might still only get a smattering of folk who actually phone for appointments. But for each one that does, you'll hopefully get a little word-of-mouth network and so it builds up - can be slow, but at least you'll be getting the type of clients worth waiting for!
And remember, you're only as good as your last therapy!