To talk or not to talk...

[Jon K]

that is the question (I suppose).

I admit that I love to hear about client's lives! I learn so much from clients! I never talk about my own problems and I'm not into hearing about other people's (depressing) issues. I find with massage that people love to talk to me and by the end of the session I feel that I am buddies with them...then they step out into the clinic room and I give them homecare advice...but I never feel as close.

What is that? Are those bountry issues? Does anyone else experience that close magic with their clients (and KNOW that the clients's want to chit chat too) ? It's like it all ends after the massage. I also know that maybe I shouldn't be so into gaining something personally...I just love my clients and my work.... I don't see that as a bad thing.

 

[Catwomen]

It could be that while they are on the table and talking so much, it is easier for you to move aside the client/therapist realationship a little bit. Once the client is dressed and I'm assuming in your office area and the atmosphere isn't quite as intimate, you are very well reminded of the professional nature of the relationship.

 

[aumnamashivaaum]

I would continue to process this issue, as a power differential is inherent in the therapeutic relationship while the client is on the table. Are you subconsciously encouraging "the talking" that occurs to meet your own personal needs? This is simply a question to consider, as being on a table nude or semi-nude equates to being in a vulnerable position, and when people are in a vulnerable position they will rise to meet the needs of others. The fact that the relationship changes so dramatically once the client has assumed his/her regular (upright) place in the word, suggests, to me, that there is a power imbalance at play here that is influenicng the talking.

This is a very honest, interesting, and, I'm sure, helpful conversation to have. I just completed my master's thesis on the integration of touch (via massage therapy) in comprehensive mental health treatment, and this is an issue that I addressed. Take care and happy learning!

 

[Lyeash.]

Are you subconsciously encouraging "the talking" that occurs to meet your own personal needs? This is simply a question to consider, as being on a table nude or semi-nude equates to being in a vulnerable position, and when people are in a vulnerable position they will rise to meet the needs of others. The fact that the relationship changes so dramatically once the client has assumed his/her regular (upright) place in the word, suggests, to me, that there is a power imbalance at play here that is influenicng the talking.

I would hope that I wouldn't subconsciously do this. My rule is that after 2 or 3 minutes of talking, I am silent unless the client talks. Thta way they have the option of sleeping or talking. It would just make me sad to think that I am doing something unethical by talking. I'm not sure they would come back if picked up on such a thing (yet they do)...I know I wouldn't. As a client I always enjoy talking too & never feel vulnerable but maybe that's because I'm used to massage?

"I'm assuming in your office area and the atmosphere isn't quite as intimate, you are very well reminded of the professional nature of the relationship."

Completely different atmospheres and yes I am reminded of the professional nature of the realtionship. I find this a tricky balance. I just hope that we as massage therapists aren't trying to be way too clinical-like because of the nature of our work is so hands on. I find many in the health field, with more training than MTs are a lot less clinical than many of us...I'm not sure why that is.

I guess my issue is with being clinical vs. being friendly. I might subconsciously equate not talking with being very clinical? (As I said before...I also just simply enjoy hearing about my client's lives...it's that simple in my conscious mind.)

 

[blackcat]

I generally like to do my massages without much talking otherwise I lose focus on what I'm doing. I'll respond to their talking but won't initiate it. On a few occasions If I feel that I am talking too much I'll say to the client that this is their time so I'll stop talking so that they can really enjoy the massage. Normally a few minutes they fall asleep.

 

[skoolgirlqt03]

I am 100% for no chat during the massage - as client or therapist - the only talk is instructional (from me) or essential feedback (from client).

Clients will get much more from the massage if they can relax completely and go to a place of healing for them - massage and touch can be healing on many levels, and that just won't happen (in my opinion of course) to the same degree if the client is chatting about stuff not relevant to the treatment.

 

[Pompal 09.]

I allow the client to make the decisioin as to if they need to talk or not. I have had some appologize for not talking, which I just laugh and tell them it is their time, and it is their decision to talk or not. But overall it is about 50-50 but even if they are talkers, and they are new clients I answer very quickly... my seasoned clients I can figure out at this point that they are not going to be silent and muffle through the face cradle and all...

 

[Alaina]

I have to say i usually enjoy talking to my clients rather then just be silent. Although I've gotten some complaints from some clients that I talk too much

Soo I'm trying to be more sensitive and let the client initiate what it is that they want.

Jason

 

[brikush]

For me, I take it on an individual basis. I never initiate the talking, and when the client does, I usually give short responses. I have found that with some clients, talking does not seen to distract from their session, but for others it does. Sometimes clients talk because things come up during the session. I never play therapist, but I will often serve as a compassionate listener. Sometimes that's all that is needed. As I'm typing this, I'm realizing that this is a tricky situation. I guess I just try to follow my gut. If I get the feeling that their talking is detrimental to their session, I will try my best to lead them back to silence. If I feel that the talking is part of a release, I will let it take its course. When the latter happens, the talking usually ceases of its own accord. It is like a wave that comes and goes, and by not interfering I am simply holding the space so that the release can finish.

 

[BubbleHead]

I guess I just try to follow my gut. If I get the feeling that their talking is detrimental to their session, I will try my best to lead them back to silence. If I feel that the talking is part of a release, I will let it take its course. When the latter happens, the talking usually ceases of its own accord. It is like a wave that comes and goes, and by not interfering I am simply holding the space so that the release can finish.

CrOsSiNgNiErIkA, I love how you put that! Well said!

 

[Kenzie 229]

argh! I cannot stand chit chat during a massage..it is distracting...however, if the client talks, I let them but I don't encourage it and I certainly do not talk unless spoken to..or to ask them about the pressure, and I only ask that once..

 

[~ Jenni ~]

I'm a fan of the no-chatting during massage, allowing both of us to "get into the zone." However, I've experienced clients that definitely benefit that day from being "heard." So, I'll listen and acknowledge of course. It's difficult though: I know being a talk-therapist isn't my scope of practice, but I remember what I've learned about active listening techniques ...and EVEN trying to maintain a supportive unbiased presense once, a client interpreted my sympathetic "ohhh, uh oh" as a judgement on his sensitive issue.

Then there's the times when I'm giving a massage to someone I know and who's interested in my life. It's not easy resisting chit chat then! But, the massage suffers. I take twice as long and do half the good.

So...I'd rather redirect the client's focus on breathe.