There's a review on TER. Sounds rather unappealing from this...
GRIM_72'S REVIEW OF CHELSEA
appearance: 6 - Nice
performance: 6 - Nice Time
attitude: Friendly
atmosphere: Odd
general details
The lady I wanted to see wasn't around, so I went fishing on Backpage and came up with this ad. There weren't any reviews that I could find, but the timing lined up and I decided to TOFTT. Made the call, set up an appointment with very short notice, everything clicked, and I was over there and in after a second call. I decided to give nuru a try, and it was a little extra, but I thought what the heck. Stout but friendly phone lady let me in (asked to see my ID, yick) and was led to a room where I met Chelsea. Chelsea is tall, buxom, and you can tell she was once a knockout, but as Indiana Jones once said, "it's not the years, honey. It's the mileage." I am not likely to return.
The Juicy Details
I laid out the donation, got undressed. I was a little taken aback by the apparent incongruity between the face and body on Chelsea. She has a pretty enough face, but seemed to have a lot of makeup on. She got totally undressed as well, and laid out a sheet of plastic or some kind of tarp on the bed. (there was a queen sized bed and a massage table set up in the room.) She asked me to shower and stay wet, so that the nuru would work. She put the nuru in a bowl and put it in the microwave. I took a shower, and dripped through the apartment to the bedroom, where I got on the plastic sheet. It smelled like ass. Like, really bad. But, whatever, I'll have a hot body rubbing all over me, then I'l shower again. Chelsea poured the nuru over my body, and I expected her to get on the bed and slide back and forth over me. She rubbed the stuff on my back with her hands, spent a few minutes rubbing her tits on my back, but then told me to get off the bed and head for the table. I'm like, okay. Not what I had in mind, I'm already on this gross plastic thing, but okay. I expected her to nuru herself up and rub her body over mine, but instead she stood next to me and rubbed the stuff over my chest and legs with her hands. She then said she needed to get something so she could "touch me", so I thought she was getting more nuru or some lube or something. I was nowhere near turned on at this point. In fact, I had gotten a good look at Chelsea's thighs at this point which looked like my grandmother's accordion-like stretch marked legs. So Chelsea comes back with a condom and stretches it over my flaccid cock. HUH? I need a condom for a nuru massage and what appears to be a hand job? A FIRST! WTF? She asked me if I wanted anything more (up-sell) and I told her no. I guess that explains the condom. But there was no body-slide massage to speak of. So more is on the menu, but I just wanted to politely get this over with and get out. I mean, Chelsea is nice and all, but at their price, it was a bit shocking. And I was kind of turned off by the shape of the lady, the weird plastic bed thing, the condom, the dumb nuru stuff. But maybe I was a it turned on by the whole weirdness factor. So Chelsea jerked me off into my cover while she played with herself a little (again, huh?) I asked her to slow down, and she did, but I let go and came in the cover. She handed me a tissue to put the used cover in, and I wrapped it up and handed it to her. She then offered to massage me a bit more to run out the time, and actually she gave me a decent medium to strong backrub. So there was that, at least. I took another shower and got out of there.