Stunning White Gal Here- Astoria, Queens

[Brett E]

Oh my God no, not the Relaxn8tor. She is probably the most disgusting provider on the east coast. I made the mistake of seeing her once and one of the loose dogs tried to commit suicide. The fact that I even went through with it after she opened the door is a commentary on just how sick it is to have a penis.

The Polish girl I'm thinking of was actually very cute. Worked with Ava. Man, Ava was great. She was so hot.

 

[insomzar]

I wanna know more about the Polish girl. I hope you're not talking about the relaxn8tor.

I wanted to try Ava but I was reading that she had a very difficult screening process or she didn't see clients that were younger than 30. I missed out on her.

 

[Kevin Durbin]

There used to be a great place with the a Polish girl with huge natural D's and a sexy spanish chick named Ava. Ava was the best but I think she retired.

 

[chiliredkitty]

Awww man, too bad. It would've been great if she didn't karate chop your wrist when you tried to reach for the boobs. Still searching for a great spot in Astoria.

 

[Jfkfsjks Fsjfdsjsdfj]

Classic. Not the experience you had, but the write up. What happened to you is all too frequent.

 

[Murfus]

Hilarious! Guess u wont be back

 

[.pokey.]

Here's the ad:

http://newyork.backpage.com/BodyRubs/a-stunning-white-gal-here-im-offering-a-scintilating-body-rub-to-ease-your-weekly-stress-for-100-25/21662532

First off, it's always a little weird when a provider stresses her race. I mean, I can see from your fake picture that you're white. Anyway...

...and yes, that's a fake picture (obviously). But what's funny is that she's way more attractive in person. Considering that the picture depicts a 40 year old blonde with a "fuck off" face and in reality she's about 25, brunette and busty, I'd say she really doesn't understand the concept of bait and switch.

When I got to the private apartment I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised.

And that's where the happiness ended.

Mechanical doesn't begin to describe the massage that I got. It was like being rubbed by a T-1000. I tried making conversation and I guess she tried to be accomodating but she had the personality of a carrot. And the music. Holy shit, the music. About 10 minutes into the massage I realized that she was playing a movie soundtrack CD. As she was rubbing my shoulders I recognized the theme from Meet Joe Black. Unfortunately, another 7 minutes go by and a fucking track from Schindler's List starts to play. It's been awhile since I've seen the movie but I'm pretty sure it was from the scene where the little kid jumps into the shitty outhouse.

So after the terrible massage comes the flip. Not only didn't the dress come off but she said I could only touch her leg. Five minutes into the HR and I decided to go for a boob. I got a karate chop to my wrist for the effort.

This is the type of stuff that makes me want to give up hobbying. When the girl feels like some kind of victim I feel like a scumbag. I don't know...

Food for thought.

Looks: 7
Massage: 3
HR: 5

Damage: $