Just got back...
The place is over an auto repair joint and there's construction debris in the hallway. Met at the door by a woman perhaps who's grandchildren might have gone to school with the girls in the ad (I know, they're fake.) She waddles on down the hall and asks if i want a TS. Never having had one, I figured, why not? She scrubbed me down like you would your car and didn't even give the hubcaps much attention. She answered a cell phone though.
She dries me off and we go back to the room. I'm thinking no way is the mess my masseuse, but sure enough she is. The start is rocky - she keeps answering her phone and leaves once to let in some other animal. Then she throws towels over me and proceed to throw her not inconsiderable weight behind the massage, the up until that time most uncomfortable thing ever (the most uncomfortable comes in a few minutes.) This is good because the heavy mouth breathing from exertion she's doing is drowning out the sound of the airtools downstairs in the shop, but it's painful.
So I ask her to go lighter, and she starts right away with the tease. I figure, alright, just let me get this the fuck over with. Generally at this point in a massage, I take the time to see what I can shake loose from the tree and have had some pretty decent success getting extras. No chance here. I just wanted to blow a load as quickly as I could and get out. Now here's the most uncomfortable thing ever - while she's beating me off, she starts tweaking my nipples and blowing in my ear with that hot, stinky, just ate a kimchee and dogshit sammich breath that some of these girls can have. That fact that I ejaculated at all is really a triumph of the will and human spirit.
To sum up, shitty location, car wash style table shower, masseuses from the Seoul Central High women's varsity sumo team, awful massages and hot garbage breath in my ear. Will I repeat? No fucking way. I feel like I let my dick down.