Review - Spa & Massage

[kelvin S]

Driving down E.Broadway... saw this sign Spa & Massage $30.. located just east of fraser..thought hmmm.. maybe a gem in hiding... never been to an AMP in Van, so firgured lets keep takin one for the team.. Walked in... definate AMP... Funky smell.... Mamasan says special $40.... WHAT?? Sign says $30... She says ok then you just pay $30... Whatever give her the money.. says wait 20 min for girl... WHAT?? no way fuck it I am outta here... OK Ok she says wait 5 min... Goes and yells at some girls and say just 2 min 2 min... come here and wait... Now I have been to alot of MP's and I have never been taken into the back room, where the ladies chill.. small room, filled with all of the girls, clothes, cell phones, purses, lunches etc... Funky food in that tupperware... This is really wired I am thinkin... get ready to bolt... but this cute lookin chinese girl come in and says give me 5 min, and I'll have room ready.. alright then! Now I could be a dink and steal all of their shit but I believe in Karma... so I just let it all alone... Girl comes back and asks of I want massage... No Shit.. I ain't lookin to give one honey now lets get to it, I got shit to do. Leads me intoa TINY room... I am a big guy and fuck me that table looks like it won't fit me... Have quick shower she says... room is so porrly lit I can't even see the floor of the shower, which kinda creeps me out, ohh well, I am her for a rub & fuck not any luxuries! So before I am even outta the shower girl comes in the room, dries me off which is kinda nice... she is cute.. maybe a 7 or so.. about 5'8" 110 lbs or so.. maybe 34B-24-34.. Says her name is MiMi.. and she is the best there is... THAT IS A BOLD STATEMENT... hmm I guess we'll see! I for one am hopin she is! anyways asks if I want hard or soft Massage... HARD of course... proceeds to give 5 min or so back rub semi-hard.. massage was ok ... asks for the flip, proceeds to play with willy, dumps about a half a gallon of baby oil on it... WTF?? anyways starts grindin my hand, asks if I want HJ... Do you do more?? yes how much do I want to pay?? I ask how much for full service... $150... yikes... nope... I want everything DATY included for 120... she says BJ only 1 brown... nope. Everything 120.. Ok She says... let em go get a condom... gets back.. wipes all that Baby Oil off of willy... Gets naked... nice toe! fairly hairy... tits nice.. responsive nips.. begins BJ.. nice... this table is way too small for my fat ass.. I say let me lick you.. she says ummm no.. no... me no like it... what ever at least let me finger it.. ok she says.. turn around bends over... puts here hand over her starfish though.. damn no bunghole report.. I start to tough her and she freaks!!! falls on ground and SCREAMS Fucky Fucky only!!! Alrighty then.. PSYCHO... tells me to get up so she can be on the bottom... I begin to fuck her mish style... way to loose for me I am not the longest guy.. but I have been known to raise hell around the edges... once she gets really wet it feels like I am fuckin a ice cream pail full of water... I tell her to get into doggy.. hopin she will be a lttle tighter... won't switch she just says fucky fucky me hard ...fiinsh up... pull out... look down .... awww FUCK blood everywhere..bitch is on the RAG.. glad I didn't DATY! Fuckin gross... I jump in the shower shiver the grossness away.... get dress and book it.. run all the way to my truck..

Overall one brown & a red for service & room... in and out in 25 min (including waiting)place is small and dark... one other girl on as well. didn't see her though... brutal..

I have had enough of this searching and gettin nothin... no fukin gems anywhere.. I miss LOTUS, come back to me..

I think I am going into Hiatus, maybe retire, so I can come back HIFI style... yeah thats the ticket.. Save up my clams for one of the tried and great eforum.xxxettes... fuck this AMP, MP, Newspaper ad, shit, I am done with it all!

 

[bak0ntrak2009]

Review - Spa & Massage

ummmmm yuk!

 

[iloveuchriscolfer]

Hey brocketrocket,

It’s too bad about your lack of success lately, it sounds like quite the bad streak. I for one appreciate you TOFTT and your many reviews. You’ve saved many a pooner from the same horrible experience. All I can say is I hope that when you do come out of retirement it is HIFI style.

Good luck.

HAW

 

[I <3 Pomeranians]

Review - Spa & Massage

Too bad you encountered the red flag man... that's disturbing...

 

[Claire D]

Review - Spa & Massage

Sorry, I couldn't stop laughing while reading your story. I had similar exprience with one of my girl friends.
Well, best of lucky next time.
P.S. I like your very descriptive report, it rocks, KEEP ON !!!!!

 

[Pompal 09.]

Review - Spa & Massage

I was with another SP the other day and after we finished our business, she told me that she feel the men. cycle is coming and I'm probably her last customer that day.

I feel lucky that we finished before the "flood" come!

Cheer

 

[Pompal 09.]

Review - Spa & Massage

That was a horrible story bro!

 

[ShinkuOkami]

Review - Spa & Massage

All I can say is that you sound like a racist with your cheap white reference to the Chinese language. "Fucky, fucky"! How crude.

Also the rest of your review sounds like pure attitude from someone who owns a competitors place of business.

I give you a zero for attitude. You're like the anti-shill.

Oh, and by the way, if the room was so dark that you couldn't see the floor, why didn't you just turn up the light on the dimmer switch located just beside the door. Makes you wonder which one is the real dimmer.

And......since I'm over 6' 1" and over 200 lbs and I never have trouble with the size of the massage tables, I can only guess about your over-sized bod. Maybe the girl just didn't want to be with you, ever thought of that?

I'll check with the girl for the real sequence of events today and will report back to the thread.

 

[audide]

Review - Spa & Massage

What a bunch of racists. You guys are all white, aren't you?

1711 posts since July 2003, eh! Yeah sure.

Oh, "fucky you".

 

[Nan Chen]

Review - Spa & Massage

Brocket is not a shill. He is a well respected poster around here, who often takes one for the team..which can not be said about all posters.

Please apologize for your insolence, its totally not neccessary

 

[just me]

Review - Spa & Massage

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Are you really Omarosa from the Apprentice? Where did you come up with the racist line? I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt and reread the post by brocketrocket but I still don't see where you're coming from.

 

[vogonsrock]

Review - Spa & Massage

Unless you have been under a rock, you should know that a number of the respective posters here are of Asian descent.

Further, if you have the ability to "check with the girl", then maybe you should do so first before flaming the post of a respected member. He was speaking from personal experience, you are jumping to conclusions.

Just my .02

 

[aliminxxx]

Review - Spa & Massage

Sushi, I'll add .03 to that and we can call it a nickel... Agree with you totally.

 

[The Lollypops]

Review - Spa & Massage

holy un-charmin...

First off.. I am not racist.. I hate EVERYONE EQUALLY!! thats a joke you tool. I simply write how she spoke to me. I have seen a great number of AMP's and I TOFTT more often than not simply for the thrill... ohh and I am 6' 250 lbs and I am a big guy. So What? I really don't care if the girl wants to be with me or not.. If I wanted that I would be at the bar picking up some little hottie.. which by the way I do on a quite regular basis. I I think the table was small, then it is.. I have laid on many a massage table in my time.. and a good MP has table's that accomadate all sizes and shapes of guys. I paid my cash like everyone else, and I expect good service. Everyone's a YMMV suituation I just tell of mine.. So by all means go in have your own experience and report back all the power to ya my brotha...

As a side note, this kind of response to my post is why new people don't post reviews or at least post lame ones.. I try and do my part to help out the fellow pooners and at least make the review informative, funny (in my twisted way) and descriptive... you make your own assumtion on my experiance, but keep them to your self, and to quote sonny... "FUCK OFF"

ohh and to the brotha's out there that came to my defence - Thanks! That is why I keep comin back for more of the shit and abuse!

BTW L2L - I have come to the conclusion that your statement about the 150 vs 200 is correct, I am saving up the clams to come outta retirement with a big BANG and a couple of those great 200 sessions

Peace Out!

 

[Kit Fang]

Review - Spa & Massage

Ohh and I wished I owned a massage parlor... hell I'd give out freebies to all you fellow pooners out there that TOFTT all the time! And I'd certinaly have a WAY bigger smile on my face ! SHilll HA! I wish I had my own place to shill. You suck!

 

[Tina]

Review - Spa & Massage

Maybe someday with hard work and persistance that business will take off! We can dare to dream can't we? Ohh and that beer at the next PA... Keep it... Just let me get at some of those ladies you hog on each of your arms.. (I am NOT jealous!!) ahh forget it I'll have that beer!

 

[Nikke]

Review - Spa & Massage

Propsal Lets start a PA parlour and agency!!

 

[Pompal 09.]

Review - Spa & Massage

I for one am waiting to hear how it turns out for him... hopefully better for him! But with accustation like he made he should be the one here posting his 0.02

 

[Alpha Geek]

Review - Spa & Massage

There's some typical reverse racism. Kinda reminds me of Red Green. I'm a man but I can change, if I have to....I'm white but I'll try to be - some other colour...Let's not try to dig this stuff up where it doesn't exist. BrocketRocket quoted the young lady. That is what she said and how she said it. Should he change the facts just so that an ignorant, defensive, self-centered person like yourself will feel better? No. He reported his experience. Period.

 

[prettypriyanka]

Review - Spa & Massage

I'm guessing that instead of Charming, he meant his name on the board to be Charmin, sounds like a big load of ass-wipe to me! Great review brocketrocket. And WTF, we're supposed to have a politically correct bulletin board on POONING???