no new partner shall be introduced into the child's life for 6 months?

[RoseK28]

We split up a little over a month ago, and about a week after that he moved in with this girl he had only knows maybe 2 weeks before that, he did move out and into his moms about a week and a half later but continued to see her. we have a custody/visitation case going on right now. Yesterday he tells me that they officially started dating. ok now since he has been gone he has seen his 2 year old daughter 2 times, once at my house while I was working and once at his moms house for a fathers day cookout with me there, no new girlfriend at all. I ask him all the time when is he going to visit her again, and he refuses because I will not allow him to have her without me at my moms, and not because I'm just being a bitch, him and his mom have anger problems and drug problems and depression. and when we were together he was unemployed but did not watch our daughter. So after he tells me about his new girlfriend he tells me that he wants to bring our daughter around her and her daughter to see how they will interact so he can see if the relationship could be serious and long term. I tried explaining that his thinking is backwards, that he needs to know that it is serious before putting our daughter in that situation and I won't allow it and he is not thinking about our daughters best interest. He said that his new girlfriend is worth it and he wants to see our daughter interact with her and her daughter.
so bottom line.. is there anyway that I could get it in the custody agreement that no new partner/relationship shall be introduced into the child's life until the relationship has been together for a least 6 months in good standing?
wow, thank you to the ones who actually had an answer, and to the others, why even bother writing anything?
I am worried about my child's best interest, I would never bring my 2 year old very influential daughter around a new boyfriend if I were to ever get one. And I have been told plenty of times before from her father that I better not bring another man around her, that's the one thing that would really make him mad, but yet he thinks it ok for him to bring her around his new girlfriend without even spending time with his daughter one on one. He probably just wants to make sure someone else will take care of her while he's out doing his own shit just like when he was with me.
wow, thank you to the ones who actually had an answer, and to the others, why even bother writing anything?
I am worried about my child's best interest, I would never bring my 2 year old very influential daughter around a new boyfriend if I were to ever get one. And I have

 

[Marty]

No. You can't.
Who determines this good standing btw, You?
Do you think anyone would sign an agreement stating that if the ex does not approve of the new partner they forfeit custody? uh ...no!
Get real.

 

[opinionated]

women are strange like this.
my ex said i could not see my boys if my girl friend was around,they were 12 and 13.
yet,that did not stop her at the same time of these demands to have a boy friend move in with her.
if the ex is not mistreating the kids,get over it.

 

[pretty in green]

I think that's a good idea, since it is not good for the kids to be meeting new potential partners so often. Try putting it in and see if he accepts. However, who will "notify" you when he starts a new relationship? Him? Will you be reporting your personal life to him? I guess the down side will be that, that you will have to be aware of his personal life and that might not let you move on.

 

[Maria]

Yes, there is definitely a way. Get a child advocate for your daughter. This is a neutral third party who represents your daughter's interests, and gives a voice to her needs. The Advocate doesn't take either parent's side, and prevents a tug-of-war between the parents, who could be perceived as wanting their own way regardless of the effect on the child.

It is very common to have written into the parenting plan that no new partner be introduced to a child without the consent of the other parent, and/or until it is clear that the relationship will be a long-term one (like an engagement ring and a wedding date). The reason is that the child can't control who comes in and out of her life, and could form a bond with someone who just disappears when the adult relationship ends. Also, it is very common to have written in that the parents have no overnight guests when the child is staying with them.

Your attorney should be able to help you with all this. An easy way to find a neutral child specialist is to search online for collaborative law practices in your area.

Using a child to determine if the adults could have a long term relationship is twisted thinking. Sheesh! If the kids don't get along, would he give up his girlfriend? I doubt it.

Good luck. And kuddos to you for being a good mom.

 

[Allison, the Nice Lady]

Good lord. Can the both of you get sterilized so you don't bring any more kids into your messed up lives??

 

[M. Freedom]

yeah have it in the agreement.
why do you keep talking about his g.f. to him?
its not normal