Is viewing a live web cam sex chat site considered cheating?

[Lily_Pad]

I've caught my boyfriend of 4 years viewing live web cam sex chat sites on multiple occasions.

The first time I caught him, the woman he was chatting with emailed him asking him to log on and chat with her again... obviously she wanted his money. I did some "email research" and found out they had been briefly communicating through email, and he was telling her he didn't want to pay to chat with her, because it costs money every time he has to log on. He then went on to say he'd be in her area (Africa) soon (he is an extensive traveler since he's a musician). When I confronted him about it, he said there's nothing to worry about, it's just a fantasy and he has no real intention of ever hooking up with these women. I tried to see it as just looking at any other type of porn site, so I forgave him and moved on.

The second instance I found a receipt in iPhone saying he had re-activated a live web cam sex chat account and spent a small amount of money on a chat, but I never brought this up to him.

This last time and the time that prompted me to seek advice on Yahoo, I walked in the room and saw a naked woman typing on the screen. When he heard me walk in he immediately closed the screen and acted like he wasn't doing anything. I tried to make a joke of it and ask him what they were talking about since there was obviously a shirtless woman typing on the screen, but when I tried to engage him in casual conversation about it, he got really uncomfortable and acted apologetic. I teased him as a defense mechanism and then tried to really get an understanding about what chatting with nude woman accomplishes? What are they talking about? Is he telling them what to do to themselves, or are they talking about current events and family etc.?

I like to look at porn myself, just not live webcam porn where I'm interacting with anyone. I even bring up watching porn together, which we've done on a couple occasions, definitely not as often as I'd like. Im totally open to exploring porn together, which he never initiates or brings up.
When he doesn't want to talk about it, or do it together, it makes it seem like he has some secret life or desires that he doesn't want me in on. It also makes me suspicious since he can't share this part of his life with me, it only makes me wonder what he's doing when he's on the road and on tour. I know he loves me, but does the fact that he feels the need to interact with REAL naked women on the Internet mean he could be a real life cheater with other secret obsessions?
The fact that I'm 7 months pregnant doesn't help the situation much either... Please help, what do you think I should do?

 

[number318]

i don't consider it cheating unless it's physical, but put yourself in his place and think about it.. would he have a problem with you talking to naked MEN on a live chat site if he walked in on you and saw you click out real quick..??

 

[AbAzAbAdAbA]

I agree with you that is weird he is paying money to talk to women live on the internet! That's going pretty far and desperate. I would think about getting really serious with him about this conversation. Double life's do happen especially if one is always on the move or working far away for weeks or months. They have to get it somewhere right.

 

[So Fierce]

cheating is physical.

So no, going on live sites isn't cheating ...