Is this a good way to introduce an action scene?

[Lisa]

My story (novel length) I want to start just before an action scene. A girl is in an alleyway, cornered by three men larger than herself. They're threatening her and saying things like, 'Thanks to your brother, our friends are all in prison'. That's all well and good, but how do I write the inital action? Is this idea OK?
ideas -
'You guys sure are cowards, huh?' She said, crossing her arms, 'Three guys against one girl? Pathetic.'
At this, the largest in the group snapped.
'Oi, you bitch!' he growled, grabbing her shirt at the neck, 'Don't you understand the situation you're in?'
He was furious at this point, but also somewhat startled by the girl's total lack of interest in him. She sighed deeply, before looking out of the corner of her eyes; clearly, he had been ignored.
'Y-You!' he yelped, more surprised than angry. She rolled her eyes.
This little brat thought she could just ignore him? Well, he'd show her what for, he thought, as he pulled back his fist.
But as he brought it down, a strong hand met his, holding it still.
'Hey, now,' said a cheerful voice, 'Whatcha doing to my baby sister?'
His eyes widened as he looked up at the man before him. It was the very guy he despised the most - that guy.
'Young!' He snapped.
The man raised his head slightly.
'Young? No, no.'
The man hit the floor, holding tightly onto his nose as it poured blood.
'The name's Jeremy.'

Is it good? Do you like it? Grammar-wise toom any advice?

 

[ravenfire40]

For a first draft, that is not bad. You have (roughly) the right amount of description and dialogue. In an action scene, you can't have too much description or it will slow down the pace of the action.

I would revise and edit, do some re-wording, but other than that you're off to a good start!