Not the author, but she often wears just as much makeup while sleeping. (Photo: Zeel)
Fair warning: I'm about to give you grounds to hate a stranger.
As part of my job, I tested Zeel's sleep massage for a month, pegged to Sleep Awareness Week, which runs through Saturday. For those not familiar, the company allows customers to schedule massage appointments where convenient, seven days a week from 8 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. Prices vary by location, but start at $87.
"Sleep massage": Quite possibly two of the best words in the world put together. It's supposed to help you get a better night's sleep and help combat insomnia. You pick from 60-, 75- and 90-minute sessions that incorporate reflexology, scalp, face and neck and back massages, Swedish massage and gentle rocking.
"There is a release of serotonin during a massage, which is essential for the production of melatonin," says Eva Carey, Zeel's national director of massage therapy. "We developed the sleep massage to promote rest and relaxation and aid in a restorative, healing nightโs sleep."
"Because Zeel comes to you," she adds, "once the massage is over you donโt need to drive home, you can roll right into bed."
In full disclosure, I had never had a massage. That makes you hate me a little less, right? Also, I rarely have trouble falling asleep, but on most mornings I wake up still feeling tired. It's like catching quality Zs is another feat beyond my athletic ability. So, I was very excited to see if my weekly, hour-long sleep massages could give me a better-quality snooze.
Prep work
I downloaded the Zeel app to schedule my first sleep massage. I thought I'd feel more comfortable with a female therapist, so I selected the "female only" option. You can specify the gender you prefer, or select "either" if you're inclined. You can add anything you want your therapist to know in the notes field. A tip can be added to the price of the massage, making it all one transaction.
Zeel massage therapists come with their own portable massage tables, but customers are asked to clear an area measuring 6 feet by 10 feet to accommodate the table and to provide two sheets and a pillow case to cover it.
Week 1
My first massage brings about some nerves. Thoughts about what I should wear whiz through my mind: Is it appropriate to greet her in only a robe and what's the minimum amount of clothing I should be wearing underneath? I take my questions to the all-knowing Google and find Zeel's blog about "What to Expect During your First Massage." I'm feeling more relaxed already.
Much like I would for any person coming to my apartment, I clean ... the parts that she will see, anyway. I put out a fresh hand towel in the bathroom and light my favorite candle.
My excitement about the massage outweighs any hesitation, and I feel comforted by the fact Zeel says its therapists are vetted, licensed and insured. I also might be less modest than the average person, a result of stumbling upon a program about a nudist colony while channel-surfing in the fifth grade, I suppose.
The massage therapist texts me before our appointment and informs me she'll arrive 15 minutes early, which I appreciate. When she arrives, her presence is warm, calming and professional. She sets up the table and exits the room to wash her hands and so I can disrobe. Using a cream liberally, she begins massaging away 30 years of tightness and stress as tranquil music plays in the background. I haven't been running marathons or even working out on a regular basis, but falling asleep on the couch while watching The Middle has got to take its toll. She uses what feels like all of her upper-body strength to knead my back, but also has a gentle touch when she tends to the area around my spine.
Mere minutes into our session, I wonder how people could be so low-key about massages? Were they just trying to spare my feelings as I had never had one before?
After the session, I drift to sleep and wake ahead of my alarm set for 3:45 a.m. I feel so rejuvenated that I hit the gym (in a shirt that said "Believe in Miracles," natch). Throughout the day, I feel energized.
Week 2
Sadly, not all massages are created equal.
My second massage therapist, who says she is less experienced with providing sleep massages, uses far less lotion during our session. This creates an unpleasant feeling of friction. My back, which previously felt like a SlipโN Slide, feels as hydrated as a face wipe left out overnight.
I realize how pivotal lubrication is to the experience. Without it, the massage therapist isn't able to glide across my body as easily, though she does give a fantastic scalp massage. Overall, our session appeals less to my senses. I don't return to the blissful state I long to be in, nor do I sink into a state of relaxation as deeply as the first time.
I fall asleep about two hours after my massage ends and wake without my alarm at 4:35 a.m. While I feel like I entered a deeper sleep than normal, I'm not inclined to go to the gym.
In an effort to see my original therapist in the future, I utilize Zeel's "prioritize" option so she will be given preference when I schedule my next massage.
Week 3
Success! I am reunited with my original massage therapist. I let out a deep exhale when I feel her hands move seemingly effortlessly down my back, across my shoulder blades and down my arms and legs. I try to make a conscious effort to stay in the moment and absorb how magnificent her touch feels, without letting my mind do a massage countdown of sorts, as I'm familiar with my therapist's routine.
I'm not even bothered by the fact that she's having technical difficulties with her phone, which she uses to play calming music, because I'm so relaxed. And, when I say relaxed, I mean it feels that my person is now in liquid form, and I have just enough wherewithal to make it to the couch when the session ends.
I do not wake up early to go to the gym the next morning, however, because I feel a migraine coming on, but once again I rise feeling mentally restored.
Week 4
What a bittersweet night it is getting my last sleep massage. I look forward to unwinding at the hands of my soul massage therapist, but I'm sad that it will be our last time together.
She has a big task ahead of her. I went to bed at 3 a.m. Monday morning after covering the Oscars. Since I need to resume my 6:30 a.m. work call time Tuesday, I want to be able to fall asleep quickly Monday night. I'm not stressed from the awards shows, but I am concerned about being able to transition back to my significantly earlier bedtime. Thankfully, my massage therapist serves up exactly what I need: another consistent effort, which also helps with soreness from really giving it my all at a cycling class featuring music by Calvin Harris, Kanye West and Taylor Swift, and then falling on my butt in front of everyone immediately after.
I start yawning shortly after the massage ends and experience a noticeably higher quality of sleep compared with the night before.
Final thoughts
Do not sleep on Zeel's sleep massages. While it might take some maneuvering to work the cost into your budget and some time to find the therapist that lulls you into a deep sleep, I highly recommend trying one.
I knew I loved sleep before this trial, but I didn't understand how deep and delicious sleep could be and the impact a restorative night's rest could have on waking hours.
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