Hoe-Hum Coco from Asia Massage

[Max Powers]

Yesterday I decided to see what all the buzz was about at the place known as Asia Massage on 117 West Broadway. I entered through the door that faces the alley behind the place, and apparently made somewhat of a surprise entrance, as they girls were lounging around and immediately scrambled into position for viewing. By the way, I did not see any amnesia-inducing drugs being forced on clients upon entry, so can someone tell me why no-one is able to remember the names of the “good girls” in this place? I would have loved to get a recommendation with a name attached,

I was in severe need of a busted nut, and I think that perhaps my pipes were backed up all the way to my eyeballs, and my judgment suffered as a result. There were two girls that caught my eye. One was named Coco, a 20-year-old from Taiwan with large boobs and a goofy smile. The other was named Evy, and she had the cutest “pick me” look on her petite face. In a moment of fleeting insanity, I picked Coco. Paid the $40 for 45 minutes and into the room we went. “Awww shit”, I said to myself when I saw the room, “I hate those little fukkin massage tables. Why can’t they have normal sized beds like they do in China?”

Coco’s massage was not so much lame as it was non-existent. She had no idea what she was doing. She should change her name from Coco to Hoe-Hum. Not wanting to waste precious time, I cut to the chase and asked for the price list for the extras, including FS. “How much you want to pay” was her reply. Great. The clock is ticking and it’s time to play The Price is Right and guess Coco’s selling price. Not only that, she claimed that she never did “that” with customers, unless they promised to cum quick. Immediately, I asked that I switch girls to Evy. Coco refused so call Evy, saying that the mamsan would give her shit, and then was suddenly was verbally compliant on all matters of services and rates. Ended up agreeing on 6 greens for half and half. MY BAD, I should have insisted on changing to Evy.

Although Coco claimed that she “never” allowed customers to go down on her, she was reluctant to let my head come up for air when she realized that I actually know where my tongue belongs. Thinking that she would now be ready to happily reciprocate, I put on the glove and asked for a BJ in return (surprise, surprise, she doesn’t do BBBJ). She reluctantly did so, and her reluctance was more than a little turn off. Although it may be true that even bad head is still good head, I knew that I was going to have to take control if I wanted to get my pop.

What followed was a painful struggle on that little fukkin massage table, with Coco not having a clue how to move, and constantly positioning herself so that it was nearly impossible to penetrate her. I left at the end of the 45-minute session, without having popped and more than just a little pissed off that I had just wasted 8 greens and 100 mg of Vitamin V for a shitty time.

I have learned a few lessons from this.

1. I will NEVER try full service on those little fukkin tables again. No big bed, no tips to the girls. Period.

2. I will appreciate the quality of service and facilities a lot more the next time that I am in China. You get 10 times the service on a full-sized bed for one-sixth of the price. And they almost always know how to give a great massage as well as enjoying getting boinked.

3. I will pick the girl with the “pick-me face” from now on. If she looks like she is not interested, guess what? She’s not interested.

4. I will also learn to appreciate the indy girls like Jasmine in the Steveston area. Although I heard that she hiked up her rates from 100 to 150, she is pretty much a guaranteed good time.

Raz

 

[Jennifer W]

It is sad to learn that you have such terrible time in AMP. I would strongly suggested for you to do a thorough research on this board before venturing out. This will really help you save $$ and disappointment. Good luck next time.

 

[Pompal 09.]

Double-00;

Thanks for the suggestion, but I actually read all of the reviews that I could find on this place by searching this board before heading over there. The reviews, although generally positive, did not include any names or recommendations of girls who offered good service that I could find.

In AMPs like this, it is not sufficient to refer to a "short Chinese girl", because that describes 90% of the staff. It is really helpful to have something like a name, for example. Failing that, the girl's social insurance number or DNA analysis would also suffice.

I have found this board to be very valuable in some instances, case in point Jasmine in Richmond. The information in the posts on this place on 117 Broadway, however, were a little sketchy on the details.

Raz

 

[Poetry]

Rasspewtin:

Are you sure you used 100 mg of "V"? That is an awful lot of mg's. Most I ever used is 50 and less usually. Perhaps you should buy a pill-splitter and experiment with different amounts. These are usually free at pharamicies, maybe a Loonie at best. (my God, I am starting to speak Canadian, eh?)

Hint: Try a micro, almost all Chinese in these places and the most I ever paid was $.5. AND, most of all, they all have beds, or at least mattresses.

From what I have read here about 117, it is a place to steer away from. For the $.7 you paid Amy (and others) at SL are out there for you. Why take a chance when there are so many sure things available?

 

[heogog]

SFMike:

Yup, it was the left-overs of two partial pills, so it was more than 50 and probably close to 100. Got into the habit of using more than 50mg at a time in Thailand, because the Kamaga there is so cheap.

By the way, I spent a total of 160 for 45 minutes and the wasted tip. I went there mainly because it is close, and a couple of the reviews have been favourable (although somewhat vague).

Question on SL: I assume that this place is named after a big white bird in a body of water? If so, please confirm that they have beds as opposed to massage tables? I read a recent review where the guy talked about a massage table during his session with Amy.

Raz

 

[Yogart n]

SL has only massage tables.

 

[ren e]

What's so bad about massage tables? i can bend em over the table, lean on the table, or stand next to the table while the MP lays on it in one position or anther. Kind of like it, though i do find myself wishing for a couch sometimes.
Just my HO..... B50

 

[Jolene L]

I'm very tall, so sometimes the massage tables can be akward

However, in saying that..I do prefer them to the beds. On the beds I tend to get a back ache, due to the massage given on the bed.

Lotus used to have great massage tables..as big as a bed!

 

[im_a_goofy_chick]

Upon giving more thought to your bad situation in being unable to "postion her for insertion", maybe it was that "Raging Bull" you created with so much "V". She may have been trying to avoid it altogether and you simply did not realize this.

Next time try less, and I mean a lot less. Using the pill, if 1/4 is not enough, upgrade next time, but move up to 1/3, never go beyond 1/2. Maybe your problem is more medical that you realize and you may be causing yourself some real harm. This might not be that unusual with someone buying over the internet. As they say: "Ask your doctor."

I wonder how many other users here agree with me. In other words, how much are you using per session?

Anybody? Help please.

 

[DolphinFan02]

Mike:

Thanks for the good advice. If I didn't know better, I would say that you are a doctor. As I matter of fact, I don't know better.....you gotta be a doc.

Mike, I'll fess up with the truth. She was so much of a turn off with her bad service, that I couldn't get it up very well. And that was after something like 80mg or so of Vitamin V. So I guarantee you, Raging Bull I was not. More like Limp-ing Calf (Jeez, now I gotta humble myself here, hehe).

And to be honest, even with Vitamin V, I have found that some form of positive stimulation is required to get it up. But once it's up, it's good to go for a looong time.

However, given your advice, and the fact that you sound smarter than my doctor, I will try to stick to a max of 50mg at a time from now on.

Thanks again for your kind advice;
Raz

 

[Pompal 09.]

You caught me, but that will be $.5 for a consultation fee. Go to some place I have reviewed and make the donation in my honor. You may be surprised how little it takes.

But you are being honest and I respect that. No matter how much V you use, it will do nothing for you if your partner does not turn you on and stimulate you.

My whole point was, and maybe I was not specific enough, please try to use a lot less and find out how that works for you. If less does not do the trick, add a little bit more the next time.

When I am out for a good time I will visit one place and move on to a second place for the really good time. My "window of opportunity" with 1/4 or 1/3 pill is around 3 and one half hours, so I take a little break in between to recover. See my recent post about Simon's and you will understand what I mean. Or, if you are with a lady you care about, roll over, cuddle for a little bit, and she will get you going in no time. This is how the stuff is supposed to work