Funny massage story

grey_ufo

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I was getting a massage at New Fantasia with a girl who I'd rate at about a 4. The massage sucked and then the sexo began. I got tired at looking at her friggin' face, so we proceeded doggie style. Then suddenly I started to smell a strong rotten chicken odor. I thought... Oh my god... I'm gonna die. Her punta is totally rotten. So, understanding I had a condom on and that there was no chance I could catch whatever the phuck was living inside her punta, I closed my eyes and covered my nose. Finished the job. But, she gave me some evil, disgusted look afterwords.

I got into the shower. She wouldn't come with me. I let out a baby fart. To my disbelief... more rotten chicken odor.

LOL... it was me the whole time. I guess I needed an anema. LOL...

These poor chicas put up with a lot of shit. What a sucky job for them?

I told the tico taxi driver afterwards what had happened. He almost drove off the road he was laughing so hard.
 
Funny massage story

Chi_trekker said:
I was getting a massage at New Fantasia with a girl who I'd rate at about a 4...

This might be an obvious question but, why the hell were you doing a 4? Was every other chica in SJ busy? :lol:
 


She was the only girl there. Okay... maybe she was a 6. Yeah, I could have walked somewhere else, but I was lazy... and still ended up with a funny story.
 
Funny massage story

Chi_trekker said:
....I let out a baby fart. To my disbelief... more rotten chicken odor. LOL... it was me the whole time. I guess I needed an anema. LOL...
Chi-, That was ph*cking PRICELESS!!! ROTFLMAO !!!

CHEERS !!!!
 


Chi_trekker said:
She was the only girl there. Okay... maybe she was a 6. Yeah, I could have walked somewhere else, but I was lazy... and still ended up with a funny story.

There were 8 or 9 there when I visited. Was this at 9am?
 


Great story....Best laugh I have had in a while. Now, what the hell are you doing putting rotten chickens up your pooper ? Just teasing, great story...Thanks for being willing to tell on yourself; the sigh of a mature man...

Psychman
 


Why don't you try Zona Blue. I was just there and there were over a dozen gorgeous women wondering if I would like to join them in their room. Stephanie and one of her girl friends (the blond wild woman) even gave me a private dance. I got a little bump and grind and then she stripped down to her lingerie and threw her skirt in my face. It was actually the funniest thing that I had seen in a long time. It's always a pleasure visiting there.
 
NOT SO FUNNY TO ME?

I am still trying to find the joke I am wondering WHY would anyone want to post something so damn disgusting and feel proud of it!! WHY don't you WASH your ass (take a shower) and brush your teeth and clean yourself up before you see the girls.

This is why so many think Americans gringo's a PIGS and nasty because of action of a few, I feel sorry for some of these girls that work at the MASSAGE PARLORS, also this is another reason why so many leave those houses and then go working solo and this way they get to PICK WHO THEY SLEEP WITH no matter how much you offer some of these girls if they smell a pig and a nasty gringo they won't give you the time or day or they will tell you $400.00 just to get you out of their face and then when they see a clean guy that knows how to take care of themshevles they would charge that guy as low as $40.00-$60.00 a hour or $100.00 for all night.

This is what many have told me about WHY they leave those massage houses to many OBESE SLOOPY PIGS comes in their looking for a girlfriend and their teeth isn't even brush or their ass haven't been wash and the guy DON't even wants to take a shower when he is offer.

It want be long before the prices goes up at some of these massage places just to bring in TOP girls because the stuff they have to go threw I feel for them, well they don't have to go threw it they will just QUITE and then guys will be posting how a star have move on wonder why??

And you guys are high five this guy and thinks its so funny ??? it made me sick I am sure the girls was sick as well


WASH YOUR BUTT NEXT TIME OR TAKE A SHIT AND WASH YOUR BUTT NEXT TIME
 
Whoa! Kidcisco!

Look man... you've got no basis for the above rant.

Notice that he farted while in the shower. You're just presuming that the guy wasn't clean, probably a false presumption.

As far as chicas moving out of the MP's...my understanding is that most girls move on to find better employment (i.e. the gals that moved from Oasis to ZB), and not because their customers are lax in their hygiene habits.

I've got a legendary nose, and being blind I pay more attention to odors than most. I have only encountered one guy who smelled bad, and he wasn't a CRT member, in Zona Blue. I do agree that some guys need to take a breath mint once in awhile, but shitty or body-sweat odors...rare.

Finally, one occasionally gets bad gas when traveling. Switching from Wheaties to gallo pinto for breakfast will certainly give you gas. :mrgreen:

I thought the story was funny. I thought your post, KidCrisco was poorly written, and lacked good forethought. Also, I must ask; is English your third or fourth language? :p
 


KidCisco it is no wonder why you are banned from every board you join! Take a hike!
 


I am still trying to find the joke I am wondering WHY would anyone want to post something so damn disgusting and feel proud of it!!

Is this the same KC that posted that gem over on the Brazil board? That was a masterpiece. Talk about a disgusting post. Chi has nothing on you my friend. I, a seasoned monger of 20+ years, was embarrased to read your post.

BTW Chi..what were you doing with a chicken up the Hershey Highway??
:)

dapanz1
 


K*D...

Your post demonstrates no sense of humor and no class. When someone is vulnerable enough to pick on themselves, and you attack, what does this say about you? Take a long look, but I sense you won't. Also, perhaps hooked on phonics might be of some help. Charm school? Highschool?

It is a funny story. Travel long enough in Latin America, and some digestive problems will sneak up on you. I am sure that is the case here. I hope yours occur during the heat of passion.

You are clearly a loser (sorry for the blantant flame Admin, but I will take my chances).

Psychman
 


I also was takenback by the chicken ass smell...That is more information than i need! Disgusting to think what some of these massage girls put up with....You should have paid her twice the amount for putting up with you.
 


Well, I personally find it funny.

If you look back, Chi never said anything about making negative comments to her. He continued on with the session for the most part as if nothing was going on.

Hows he the bad guy? He had gas, big deal.

If it was the case that he stopped midway through the session, started complaining about the girls smell and dismissed her, then yeah I would say that was a bit harsh. He didnt though!

In the end he laughed about it, I would have done the same.
 
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    Cim
  31. Jennyโ€™s Spa:
    ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’JENNYโ€™S SPA๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’ โœ…5170 DUNDAS STREET WESTโœ… ๐Ÿ‘ŒETOBICOKE ONTARIO M9A 1C4๐Ÿ‘Œ โ˜Ž๏ธ(647-893-5196)โ˜Ž๏ธCall or Text โ˜Ž๏ธ(437-888-3759)โ˜Ž๏ธCall Only (ETOBICOKE) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY ๐Ÿ”ฅโœ…GRAND OPENING๐Ÿ’ฏNEW GIRLS EVERYDAY๐Ÿ”ฅEXCELLENT MASSAGE + SERVICE QUEENS NOW AVAILABLE AT JENNYโ€™S SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ”ฅโค๏ธ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ”ฅTWO BEAUTIFUL NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS EVERYDAY๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐Ÿ’ฏREAL PICTURES OF ATTENDANTS๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿ”ฅTODAYโ€™s ROSTER INCLUDES: Nana๐Ÿ˜˜ is a sexy young slim Malaysian girl w
  32. Sparkling Spa:
    โšก๏ธ๐ŸŒŸSPARKLING SPAโšก๏ธ๐ŸŒŸ โœ…50 Lockridge Ave Unit 8โœ… ๐Ÿ‘ŒMarkham, ON L3R 8X4๐Ÿ‘Œ โ˜Ž๏ธ(905) 604-8186 Spa Land Lineโ˜Ž๏ธ โ˜Ž๏ธ(437) 446-6688 NEW Spa Cell Phoneโ˜Ž๏ธ (West of Warden & 16th Ave) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY ๐Ÿ”ฅโœ…NEW MANAGEMENT๐Ÿ’ฏNEW GIRLS๐Ÿ”ฅSUPERSTAR SERVICE QUEENS AVAILABLE AT SPARKLING SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ”ฅโค๏ธ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ”ฅSEXY NEW YOUNG GIRLS ALWAYS WORKING - Todayโ€™s Schedule isโ€ฆ๐Ÿ”ฅ Zoe - ๐Ÿ”ฅStunning Tall Taiwanese Service Queen with Endless Passion and Sensuality who Wa
  33. Lulu1980:
    Hi guys, phoenix blossom spa๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน table shower body scrub๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘ there is a new girl Ivy sexy body๐Ÿ˜big boobs, professional thai massage, Jessica super awesome deep tissue therapeutic massage, relieve muscle spasms, hot sexy butt๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช super awesome body slide that makes you can't stop๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜5124 Dundas W Etobicokeโ˜Ž๏ธ416-816-3366โค๏ธWalk in or make an appointment anytime, plenty of parking at the back door
  34. Moneylee:
    All season wellness center : Young girl big boobs beautiful face deep massage Midi,Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament Lala,Young girl big boobs beautiful face deep massage Helen , Young beautiful face sexy body and good deep massage Maggie , Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Sherry,๐Ÿ  address: #5-30 Rambler dr Brampton ,Ontario L6W 1E2โ˜Ž๏ธ4376655510 ๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿˆต๏ธ๐Ÿˆต๏ธ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…
  35. Moneylee:
    Full season wellness center: Student pretty face nice figure Thai deep massage Dasia,young girl pretty face nice figure Thai deep massage Connie , Young girl Big breasted saucy naughty Ella, Taiwan girl DD Boobs Thai deep massage lily,Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Mary. 2560 Shepard ave Mississauga unit 1 .โ˜Ž๏ธ4379857899๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿˆต๏ธ๐Ÿˆต๏ธ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…
  36. Healthy Lotus Wellness Centre:
    โค Lisa and Kay are here today! โค 1550 South Gateway Rd โค (647) 407-8338 โค We have friendly curvy ladies
  37. KSpa:
    SUNDAY at ๐Š ๐’๐๐€: JESSICA, YUMI & CINDY. Unit B6-4227 Sheppard Ave East Scarborough, ON (Just East of Midland Ave) โ˜Ž๏ธ ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿณ๐Ÿต๐Ÿฎ-๐Ÿณ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿด โ˜Ž๏ธ JESSICA is 20, Chinese, 5โ€™3โ€ and 110 Lbs, sexy & good looking with 34C goodies to play with. YUMI is a young early twenties Japanese girl, about 5โ€™2โ€, medium build, natural chest, and a big sexy bum. Yumi is very versatile and skilled. CINDY is slim & pretty
  38. Dreaminn:
    SUNDAY at ๐Ÿ’ญ๐——๐—ฅ๐—˜๐—”๐—  ๐—œ๐—ก๐—ก ๐—ช๐—˜๐—Ÿ๐—Ÿ๐—ก๐—˜๐—ฆ๐—ฆ ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”๐Ÿ’ญ: HONEY, LULU & TINA. 10225 Yonge St (North of Major Mackenzie), Richmond Hill, ON โ˜Ž๏ธ ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿด๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿต-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿต๐Ÿด๐Ÿฏ โ˜Ž๏ธ HONEY is a beautiful slim Asian lady with an ample bosom, slightly curvy with a great ass. Her services are highly sought after. LULU is a very popular & well known Chinese attendant, slim and beautiful with 34C Cups, long sexy legs, and incredible services.
  39. SugarLoveSpa:
    Sunday at โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’™ ๐Ÿ’œ๐—ฆ๐—จ๐—š๐—”๐—ฅ ๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—ฉ๐—˜ ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’˜: CHERRY, EVA(after 7pm) & MIA. 1270 Finch Ave W (at Keele St), Unit 18. North York, ON โ˜Ž ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฑ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿด๐Ÿด โ˜Ž CHERRY is a young, slim, friendly and absolutely gorgeous Vietnamese beauty, 49 Kgs with Bounteous D Cups. Real pics, unreal services! BBBJ, shower together, full menu. EVA (after 7pm) is a NEW beautiful White/Asian mix girl, 5โ€™1โ€, 36C, ver
  40. bnwellness_wilson:
    Blue Nile Wellness Center, we have 4 young beautiful girls are working today, young cute Summer and young fun Jessy slime , sexy Coco and pretty Ella are providing deep tissue and sensual massage, pls call 416-3985777 book appointment and walk in aways welcome, back entrance and parking available, 350 Wilson Ave North York
  41. Healthy Lotus Wellness Centre:
    โค We provide beautiful Oriental massage in Mississauga โค 1550 South Gateway Rd โค (647) 407-8338 โค We have friendly curvy ladies
  42. Annie Spa:
    ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’ANNIE SPA๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’ โœ…7-1001 SANDHURST CIRCLEโœ… ๐Ÿ‘ŒSCARBOROUGH ON M1V 1Z6๐Ÿ‘Œ โ˜Ž๏ธ(647) 891-9688โ˜Ž๏ธ โ˜Ž๏ธ(416) 291-8879โ˜Ž๏ธ (FINCH & MCCOWAN) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY ๐Ÿ”ฅโœ…NEW MANAGEMENT๐Ÿ’ฏNEW GIRLS๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐Ÿ”ฅGORGEOUS NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS - TODAYโ€™s ROSTER INCLUDES: ๐Ÿ”ฅ Vicky๐ŸฅฐA new arrival at our branch ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™€๏ธVicky is a very young CBC part time student working for tuition fees and books, this bright young sexy girl is willing to showcase her eagerness to please AND be pleased. Busty 36DD boobs on a pet
  43. SunriseRH:
    SUNDAY at ๐—ฆ๐—จ๐—ก๐—ฅ๐—œ๐—ฆ๐—˜ ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”: SUMMER & TIANA . 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 27, Richmond Hill, on โ˜Ž๏ธ ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฑ-๐Ÿด๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿด๐Ÿฒ โ˜Ž๏ธ SUMMER is an incredibly sweet Asian babe, 5โ€™3โ€ with a captivating 36D-28-39 figure, weighing 108 pounds. Summer has very good massage & services. TIANA is a sexy Jamaican girl, 5โ€™6โ€ & 120Lbs, possessing 36DD-28-39 assets to drive you crazy.
  44. NewOriental:
    SUNDAY at ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ’š๐—ก๐—˜๐—ช ๐—ข๐—ฅ๐—œ๐—˜๐—ก๐—ง๐—”๐—Ÿ ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ: KAT, LULU & MICHELLE & PHOENIX. 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 26, Richmond Hill, on โ˜Ž๏ธ ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿด๐Ÿญ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿด๐Ÿด โ˜Ž๏ธ KAT is young & slim with C Cups , a tasty figure & a tasty menu. LULU is a friendly and very sexy Vietnamese girl with natural B Cups, and a slim to medium frame. She is a lot of fun, and can be wild at times.
  45. ASPA:
    ๐—ฆ๐—จ๐—ก๐——๐—”๐—ฌ ๐—”๐—ง ๐—” ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”: Be๐˜€๐˜ ๐—บ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ฎ๐—ด๐—ฒ ๐—ฅ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—น, & Sophia ๐Ÿ…ฐ๏ธ๐€ ๐’๐๐€๐Ÿ…ฐ๏ธ, 28 South Unionville Ave, Unit 5, Markham. ๐Ÿ…ฐ๏ธ๐—–๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿณ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿต-๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿฒ ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ฒ๐˜…๐˜ ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿด๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿต-๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿต๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿ…ฐ๏ธ RACHEL is a petite & cute, 34C, 155Cms & 50Kg, very gentle & patient. She has good communication, massage & service. SOPHIA is a slim and attractive attendant, about 5โ€™4โ€
  46. ForeverWarden:
    Sunday at ๐Ÿซฆโค๏ธ๐Ÿ”ด๐ŸŸฅโ™พ๏ธ๐“•๐“ž๐“ก๐“”๐“ฅ๐“”๐“ก ๐“ข๐“Ÿ๐“โ™พ๏ธ๐ŸŸฅ๐Ÿ”ดโค๏ธ๐Ÿซฆ2190 Warden Ave, Unit 201, Scarborough ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿฒ-๐Ÿด๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿฌ-๐Ÿณ๐Ÿด๐Ÿด๐Ÿณ: Cindy, Jennifer, Mia & Sophia. Cindy is a slim beauty, 5โ€™4โ€, natural C Cups & wonderfully long nipples. Her massage is nice, her bbbj will drive you wild & her cfs finish is a dream come true. Jennifer is a tall, slim & pretty Asian babe with natural melons and eraser nipples. She is very open minded.
  47. HolidaySpa:
    Sunday at ๐ŸŒด๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒ…๐“—๐“ธ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ญ๐“ช๐”‚ ๐“ข๐“น๐“ช๐ŸŒ…๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒด3517 Kennedy Rd, Unit 4, Scarborough โ˜Ž๏ธ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿญ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿต๐Ÿตโ˜Ž๏ธAmy & Jenny. AMY is an attractive young lady with larger breasts and a nice bottom. She has outstanding oral skills, and is very popular. Donโ€™t miss out on her special skills! Jenny has a medium build, nicely curvy with a slim waist, pretty face, and very flexible skills. Jenny will make you very happy.
  48. Red Rose Spa:
    ๐ŸŒธ We have 5 hot brown girls today ๐ŸŒธ MALIYA, NINA, ANGEL, EVA, PAOLA, PAYAL PEARL, ANGELINA, SARIKA ๐ŸŒธ 2588 Birchmount ๐ŸŒธ 2 Invergordon ๐ŸŒธ 647-702-8800 ๐ŸŒธ Please visit for a great erotic massage
  49. DareDevil:
    SENTOSA BAY: 4 young girls working today,โค๏ธโค๏ธ Ellie, Tracy, Aria and Dome Welcome to inquire about, I will try to introduce the most suitable girls for you! Booking available PHONE 905.707.0107Call: โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ
  50. AliceSpa:
    LALA is back! 19Yrs beautiful petite, pretty, baby faced Japanese, 5โ€™2โ€ 90Lbs B Cup, bbbj rim. Lala is energetic, fresh, beautiful & innocent, makes your heart beat.
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