Demanding client with healing crisis

[goodcharacter]

I have an interesting case with a client who I have seen about 6 times. She called about three months ago and was very demanding that she get in right away. She has issues with her neck, shoulder, knee, and hip. She is getting some treatment by an Osteopath and doing Pilates. She is in her mid 50's.
She is very demanding during the sessions. :roll: I have found that I have to let her know near the end of the massage "that we only have 10 min. left." She constantly asks for more work on specific areas. Yet she is very complimentary on the work we're doing. She frequently has a healing crisis after the treatment- flu-like, feels tired and sick, etc. Yet, the last time she requested that I focus on her low back and hips-especially the left one for over 25 min. :shock: And she had another "therapeutic reaction" after the session, cancelled her next visit and I haven't heard from her.
This is frustrating me in that I feel like I've lost control of her treatment and she's running the show by herself. :roll:
Anybody have any suggestions, ideas?
Thanks,
rubmyster

 

[texaschick200670]

I have only seen a few clients like this and they ususally have some sort of severe stress making them behave this way.

For me, it is hard to work with a client like this and usually I end up referring them out.

I just read mush's post at the bottom about more time - I'll have to try that on the next client I get with similar issues. All the responses were so well thought out and I too am appreciative for the input. I'd have never thought to handle it like Anastasia, but it's a great idea to add to my repoitoir.

 

[turtleturtle]

I saw this posting yesterday, and didn't answer because I'm not sure what you're looking for. I'd like to help... I have been frustrated when I feel like I can be helpful to someone who is experiencing pain, but then is not consistent with their treatments, or doesn't do the home care I suggest. Is that is what is frustrating?

You want suggestions for...................what? You feel frustrated that she is running the show.....But now you haven't heard from her.

How long has it been since you last treated her/heard from her?
Do you want to know if you should contact this client?

Or, do you want some ideas on how to conduct your speech and/or the treatment the next time she calls you?



Noel

 

[a.s.a.p.]

One of my now favorite clients started out much like yours - telling me how to do what she wanted done and for what duration.... after the first dozen or so times of letting her get her way and being really p!@#!@ at myself for doing so, I just told her flat out the next time she called - 4 months later - that, "the rules of engagement" had changed since she had been gone, and, that I now decided, using my professional judgement how long each area should be concentrated on following a more intensive pre-massage discussion of her current conditions/complaints. She came in with a huge laundry list of complaints and concerns - WRITTEN OUT!!!! So, we went over them, I had her choose which of the FIFTEEN things she really thought were the most pressing problems - being certain that the choices were limited to THREE - and proceeded with the work from there. When she started in with her usual litany about how I should be doing what to where, I simply referred to her list, her choices and commented appropriately on whether the request was on the choices list or not. Never had another problem with her directing the massage after that... and, months later, she finally admitted, that, when I limited her choices to the most pressing problems or concerns that she didn't seem to feel so "toxic" post-massage.

Maybe if you tried that approach with your client, the dynamic would change back to the one you seem to want it to be - where you are respected for your professional abilities, not the ones where you are treated like a doormat.

Good luck!
J

 

[spaztastic]

Demanding client with healing crisis

Thanks for your responses. What I was looking for was some support that this happens to other MTs, that the client may not know exactly what they need and that controlling the session by the client is not the best outcome.
I willl be calling her soon to check in and see where she's at.
I have been very busy with work, as well as having my house fumigated and it's been difficult at times to assert boundaries when I'm not at my best.
Cheer, happy friday 13th,
you guys are the best 8)
Rubmyster

 

[swimmergirl247]

Demanding client with healing crisis

Thanks for your responses. What I was looking for was some support that this happens to other MTs, that the client may not know exactly what they need and that controlling the session by the client is not the best outcome.

Yes, this certainly happens. It's most frustrating when you only see them once or twice, and are never able to establish a rapport, and assert that you can---and show them how---you can be helpful in their healing.

I personally believe that until these people take responsibility for their own healing, they aren't going to become well. They mistakenly think they are trying--controlling the actions of the therapist. But in the real world there is no magic pill in the form of the perfect therapist that massages them in their idea of the perfect way that is going to "fix" them. Unfortunately, they either don't stick around long enough to realize/experience this, or their own agenda is so loud in their head.............they don't "hear" your recommendations, and/or they're so in their head, they just can't relax or even feel what part of THEIR body you are touching. A good analogy is driving home from work, and realizing you don't even remember the drive.........so obsessed with your own thoughts and grocery list in your head that, you don't know if you stopped at the stoplight.

People continue their self-defeating actions because they have something to gain from them. Perhaps a client like this, gets attention from being hurt or unwell, gets attention from their peers for knowing every therapist in town, or is lazy and somehow relizes that to be well, they will have to work at it instead of paying someonelse to make them well. Maybe they are low man on the totem pole at home and work and directing your actions is the only chance they ever have to feel important?

Anyway, I have had clients like this, when you are able to reach them, and facilitate their healing, I don't think there is anything more rewarding. Unfortunately, they are often one-hit wonders and you often don't get a second chance.

I agree that AnastasiaB has described a good approach, and something similar I have used before to good effect.

Keep us posted,
Noel

edited to fix some typos

 

[Pompal 09.]

my formerly demanding client is now a happier client because she : decided that she needs 90 minutes instead of 60 minutes. she was always asking for more time on almost each and every body part. on top of that, she was in a really stressful situation, so was not so pleasant. thankfully it had resolved itself and we are both happier for it.

suggest more time to accomodate her needs.