BM's Funniest LOS escapade

[DONZI]

Guys,
I hope I wont be flamed out of existence here, but I have enjoyed reading so many of the posts and thought why not have a thread with various BM's each relating one of their funniest LOS experiences....thus giving us something to read and have an insight into you all!
Im a newbie, only been to LOS once, still waiting to return shortly so had limited experiences to start the thread with. Early this year I posted an experience when I came back after my first trip and was feelin' the blues (so if you recognise it dont shoot me).
NINA
how I met Nina, well...the line of bars ran off Bangla Rd (?), and this grouping of bars running tangentially to Bangla had Suzy Wongs and maybe a carpark (I was pissed) at the end of it of all of the bars.
The bar was right outside the Suzy Wong sign from memory.
And I would really love someone to tell me the barname?????
This babe apart from being a honey and model quality and very very very special was just a lovely person. She organised a touk touk for me at 4.30 am from her unit, after what was the heaviest storm they'd had in 20-30 years. I actually didnt get back to my room and cousin until nearly 6.20am in Bang Tao beach Amora after having one of those experiences it takes hours to tell.
Firstly the Touk touk brokedown in the flood in the middle of Patong intersection with neither driver or I game to wade out in 3ft of water at 4.45am. After the crowd or revellers gathered on the paths and pissed themselves laughing at us, they actually waded into the flood and push started us. THANK GOD FOR DIESEL ENGINES.
Then the Touk Touks wipers didnt work so I had to ride the whole way home hanging out of the front passenger door with my shirt off and the door open with my foot wedged against itwiping the windscreen in this torrential downpour so the driver could see. Did I mention that only the right headlight worked, and somewhere in this ******ng cyclone massive landslides had occurred ripping down the power lines so we had to go the long way home from Patong via Phuket town to Band Tao with an 8 candle right headlight, and a driver with the surname of Ferrari.
It gets better, then after the driver stopping in the middle of this tiny town 20minutes from our destination, he utters the only 2 words of English I could understand, "Im lost!"
We sit waiting in driving rain, soaked to the bone, at 5.30am until another soul passes us by when he gets instructions on how to get to Amora Hotel.Despite me asking for the last hour does he know how to get there, and Im just getting back the Thai smile and a thumbs up!
Finally a landmark, about 6 bourbons and several roots later, that even I could recognise at the turnoff to Banyan Vines. We proceed down the red-dirt track and BANG, the clutch cable snaps.
So here I am, its approaching 6am, I know my cousin will be worried to the hell where I am, given I was just going to escort my new-found friend Nina home and Im wringing wet, pissed, lost and the driver now warns me via signlanguage about not walking home along the track because of the flood causing snakes to come out.
Oh great!!!!
So this guy fiddles in the back with a piece of nylon string hanging behind the drivers seat and tries for 15 minutes to tie the snapped clutch cable to some thingy thing at floor level. Im no mechanic, just a humble beancounter and useless as tits on a bull with this stuff.
My guts are turning, and suddenly I break into this great smile as I imagine my cousin telling my folks and girl how he lost me and I died somewhere on the backroads of Phuket at 6am, imagining the autopsy of the ringbarked and bruised old fella etc blah blah blah.
I teach our friend in broken sign language, remember Im still pissed, about how you can start a car in a high gear and , we call it kangaroo starting downunder,without a clutch but just turn the key on etc etc.
We finally get back to the Amora at about 6am something time, and the car stops again.
I hold out the 300bht I negotiated with him through Nina, and he starts to cry. I figure this story will be with me for life, I could even turn it into a movie, aarrgghh what the heck, I give him 1000bht and crawl back through the lobby.The security guard accosting me, and garden staff gave me the weirdest of looks for the next week - but what an experience!
My cousin just about cries with laughter when I describe my night to him, and like good aussies we celebrate with a beer at 7am after I tell him the story of my nights escapades. He suggests we hookup with Nina and friend the next night. It didnt happen, but Lek and Noi from Phuket City the next night were another story worth telling. Not here or now, time to go home.

CUM ON GUYS SHARE! ANY TAKERS ON ONE OF YOUR FUNNIEST EXPERIENCES??

 

[Abey c]

Is this now known as doing a Gez ?.....55555555

 

[pollyfashion100]

Denver, Great Pics!!! This really helps put your story in proportion.

Thanks!!!

 

[Larry]

I gave her £5 (less than $10) as it was the only paper money I had. Like I said I finished the job myself so she couldn't really complain.