Some days you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed and unknowingly decide to be a dumb@ss. That happened to me today.
Today, I had a day off from the grind. I woke up this morning and thought to myself, "Since I have the day off, I'll give the ole right hand the day off too." I get up and do the usual morning stuff. Today, I am wanting something different, change up something-scenerey, girls, unusual extras. So I head over to June's. Haven't been there in ages. Get there, I go in and am greeted by a couple of the girls, well Grandmas. The one that wanted to attend to me had to be in her 50s, had tattoos on her shoulders (they had a biker hag look to them), was completely flat assed, no hips, and something not to even talk about to your friends. At first I thought, "this old gal has been ridin' hard and put a way wet." But then after taking a regretful second look, I thought, "Hell, she has been ridin' off road and put up muddy." Suddenly remembering why I haven't been here in such a while, I left quickly.
Then I thought to myself, I'll head over to 7th heaven. I haven't been there and I knew Cindy from Oceanside was there. Maybe I will see her. I get there, get in the door, and was greeted by a young thing that was ok in the face, but was built just like a 2 x 4. Long, slim, straight up and down, no curves except for a slight warp. She asks if I been there before, I blurted no, but I had known Cindy from Oceanside. She asks me if I was here for Cindy then? Not wanting to tell her I wanted to pass on her, I said, uh yea. She grabs my hand, goes to a door, listens for a second, then tells me she will be done in 10 minutes. I said ok. She then takes me to a back room and closed the door. I set for about 10 minutes and then hear a sensual moan start resonating into the room. The I heard 2 what sounded like 2 girls moaning and cooing. I had had enough. Now I know, so what, right, that is what goes on and we are all in line for it behind the next Joe. I was thinking, it's time to go, I don't want sloppy nexts so close to the next, it is just too early in the day, I should be sloppy firsts for the day. I open the door and walk by the first closed door. Loud moaning, cooing. I wanted to peak in and give the guy a thumbs up. Walk by what I believed to by Cindy's door. She was much louder. I wanted to applaud that guy (if you were buffing Cindy around 12 today and reading this-I applaud you). I tell the girls in the hall, I will be back later.
Now I am still in this, "something different mood." Didn't head over to AMPville, instead went over to the Arts Plaza by the closed oceanside and grabbed a couple of the local rags to read thru to see if anything stared at me. I saw, "Doll House, under new management, $10 off with ad, off irving and mockingbird." I thought, Never been there, and away I go. I get over there. A little voice in my head is pleading with me to keep driving, "just drive by, drive by, please, it's not worth it, looks wrong." I am thinking, if it really is that bad, I just walk out. Well, I drive up, go in, and it is really really dark. Barely see anything. A lady answers, I can kinda see her face. Old, raspy voice. She asks me If I been there before. I told her no. But thinking to myself, how to make a polite exit, I tell her, "I am looking for asians." She says, "We all Asian." I am thinking, crap what next? "I am looking for Korean." She says she is korean. Her voice is really wearing on me. I then say, Anyone here younger than you? She told me to wait. She must have been in her mid to late 50s. Then a younger looking (mid 40s) comes out. Again trying to see her in the dark, I walk in past the screen door, and I see a face that looks like my best friends moms face, and decent pair with a tattoo, but (this is what spoiled it) chicken legs. She asked if I been to these places before. I said yea, Hawaii. I then froze and said I have to go. She got mad, but in a polite sounding voice. She told me, "Ok, you go to Hawaii, get young girl, and do what you want with her." I said, "Yup, I just wanted to see what this place had to offer."
After all this, I was tired, went home, and commenced watching TV. I thought to myself. Well, I gave the right hand they day off, I want something different, I wonder what the left is doing and if it had anything new up it's sleeve?
Morale of the story: Stay away from Doll house and Junes (unless you are into old ladies, I guess they too need to work too), if you truely want something different and are desperate, use the other hand-nature did give you two, and stick with what you know. If not, you will be like me-hunted muff, just not great at it and didn't get any. Maybe I should change my name to, "I attempt to hunt muff."
Today, I had a day off from the grind. I woke up this morning and thought to myself, "Since I have the day off, I'll give the ole right hand the day off too." I get up and do the usual morning stuff. Today, I am wanting something different, change up something-scenerey, girls, unusual extras. So I head over to June's. Haven't been there in ages. Get there, I go in and am greeted by a couple of the girls, well Grandmas. The one that wanted to attend to me had to be in her 50s, had tattoos on her shoulders (they had a biker hag look to them), was completely flat assed, no hips, and something not to even talk about to your friends. At first I thought, "this old gal has been ridin' hard and put a way wet." But then after taking a regretful second look, I thought, "Hell, she has been ridin' off road and put up muddy." Suddenly remembering why I haven't been here in such a while, I left quickly.
Then I thought to myself, I'll head over to 7th heaven. I haven't been there and I knew Cindy from Oceanside was there. Maybe I will see her. I get there, get in the door, and was greeted by a young thing that was ok in the face, but was built just like a 2 x 4. Long, slim, straight up and down, no curves except for a slight warp. She asks if I been there before, I blurted no, but I had known Cindy from Oceanside. She asks me if I was here for Cindy then? Not wanting to tell her I wanted to pass on her, I said, uh yea. She grabs my hand, goes to a door, listens for a second, then tells me she will be done in 10 minutes. I said ok. She then takes me to a back room and closed the door. I set for about 10 minutes and then hear a sensual moan start resonating into the room. The I heard 2 what sounded like 2 girls moaning and cooing. I had had enough. Now I know, so what, right, that is what goes on and we are all in line for it behind the next Joe. I was thinking, it's time to go, I don't want sloppy nexts so close to the next, it is just too early in the day, I should be sloppy firsts for the day. I open the door and walk by the first closed door. Loud moaning, cooing. I wanted to peak in and give the guy a thumbs up. Walk by what I believed to by Cindy's door. She was much louder. I wanted to applaud that guy (if you were buffing Cindy around 12 today and reading this-I applaud you). I tell the girls in the hall, I will be back later.
Now I am still in this, "something different mood." Didn't head over to AMPville, instead went over to the Arts Plaza by the closed oceanside and grabbed a couple of the local rags to read thru to see if anything stared at me. I saw, "Doll House, under new management, $10 off with ad, off irving and mockingbird." I thought, Never been there, and away I go. I get over there. A little voice in my head is pleading with me to keep driving, "just drive by, drive by, please, it's not worth it, looks wrong." I am thinking, if it really is that bad, I just walk out. Well, I drive up, go in, and it is really really dark. Barely see anything. A lady answers, I can kinda see her face. Old, raspy voice. She asks me If I been there before. I told her no. But thinking to myself, how to make a polite exit, I tell her, "I am looking for asians." She says, "We all Asian." I am thinking, crap what next? "I am looking for Korean." She says she is korean. Her voice is really wearing on me. I then say, Anyone here younger than you? She told me to wait. She must have been in her mid to late 50s. Then a younger looking (mid 40s) comes out. Again trying to see her in the dark, I walk in past the screen door, and I see a face that looks like my best friends moms face, and decent pair with a tattoo, but (this is what spoiled it) chicken legs. She asked if I been to these places before. I said yea, Hawaii. I then froze and said I have to go. She got mad, but in a polite sounding voice. She told me, "Ok, you go to Hawaii, get young girl, and do what you want with her." I said, "Yup, I just wanted to see what this place had to offer."
After all this, I was tired, went home, and commenced watching TV. I thought to myself. Well, I gave the right hand they day off, I want something different, I wonder what the left is doing and if it had anything new up it's sleeve?
Morale of the story: Stay away from Doll house and Junes (unless you are into old ladies, I guess they too need to work too), if you truely want something different and are desperate, use the other hand-nature did give you two, and stick with what you know. If not, you will be like me-hunted muff, just not great at it and didn't get any. Maybe I should change my name to, "I attempt to hunt muff."