Am I wrong to want my husband of 3 1/2yrs to introduce me to daughter.?

[Eve]

I have been with my husband for 6yrs, and married to him for 3 1/2yrs. He has daughter from previous marriage now 14yrs old. His daughter lives in different state than we do now, but we all used to live in the same state- we used to live 40min away from daughter and his ex.
The issue is he allways refused to introduce me to daughter, and he would go for solo visits almost every weekend when we lived close by.
I was never invited or allowed to come along-not once. I have never once talked to his daughter on phone-not once, not even to say hello-again husband won't allow it. Now we live in different state and husband want's to visit her-but of course without me-we had a big fight over this this time.
He says he likes to spend one-on-one time with daughter-I said that's fine-I just asked him to take 5 min. and introduce me, and then the two of them could have several days together and spend time.
Where I come from-I don't mind him spending time with his child-I do mind being kept in the closet-and it seems to me I'm being hidden. He says I'm not, because daughter and ex know I exist.
After 6yrs of exclusive relationship and 3 1/2 yrs of marriage, I do not think askiing for a 5 min. max introduction is asking too much-espicialy since I'm ok with them having their time alone after that.
He says it would take time away from daughter-but he won't even let me have 5 seconds to say one word on phone-like hello or something.
I feel he is a little unreasonable about this-why might he be doing this? Should I expect an introduction at this point? Am I wrong?

 

[diatonicform]

I don't think you are wrong at all. You have chosen to spend your life with this man, and his daughter is a natural extension of his life. You have every reason to want to at least meet her! His secrecy is odd and unwarranted.

 

[Maru Ramos]

Your doing fine.
As his wife you have the right to know her.
He is not being honest with you.
Why does he have to hide her from you.
If I were you I followed him and investigate if it's true because you never know If is not true and if he is seeing his ex-wife and you think is his daughter,,,, that is really really strange.
You have to be strong and tell him that you are going with him to see her and that's it.
have luck and hope everything gets solved.

 

[arcusx]

To answer this question, ask another: How will meeting his daughter benefit his daughter? If there is no possible benefit, then you are wrong. The decision should be based more on the kid than you. Divorce can be quite damaging to a child. Step parents sometimes only compound the issue. I don't know anything about 14-year-old girls, but I can imagine it being a fragile time in a girl's life.

 

[xdkirbyxd]

that is quite unreasonable for you husband to do that
i think that your husband doesn't want to hurt his daughter or his ex i am thinking cause
your his second wife and he feels awkward introducing you to his first wife and his daughter
but i think you should go visit them to loosen some tension

 

[E&L]

What unreasonable is that you would have continued a relationship with a man this long and not be introduced to his daughter. This would have been a stand to take BEFORE the marriage, but at this point you have been such a 'non-factor' in his daughters life that it's a little late to introduce you. This may not be an issue that he did not want to introduce you, but a stand his ex took after the divorce and he just went along with it.

 

[Angel]

Something doesn't sound right there should be no reason why you can't meet and talk to his Daughter does he spend most weekends with his kid something just isn't right about this and i think you have every right to be angry about this stand your ground because i really think there is more going on here than his not wanting you to talk to his kid

 

[hepmom]

Definitely a little weird. She is 14, would she totally flip out? Maybe she doesn't want to meet you and your husband doesn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you this?

 

[Stick]

So, let me get this straight. He felt comfortable enough to marry you, but not comfortable enough to introduce you to his daughter? Did you seriously marry this guy? That should have been a major red flag right there. It is possible that he made some sort of arrangement with his daughter's mother and he is trying to honor it now. For example, is he paying child support. Perhaps the mother agreed to his not paying child support in exchange for her not being exposed to another woman as a "mother" figure. As shameful as it is, some guys would bite on this option just to save a buck. However, most of his commitment to her should have died with the divorce and all of it should have died when he "supposedly" devoted it to you. Personally, I think it is unacceptable.

 

[mrs_g2]

This is the first thing that popped intoi my head:
He is still legally married to her mother, and is afraid she will spill the beans if you talk!

Have you ever seen proof of a divorce? This is just so shady, there is definitely something wrong here.

 

[Sarah]

I don't think you're wrong. My bf introduced me to his son just a couple months after we started dating, and I am really glad he did.
But maybe he doesn't do it because she doesn't want to meet you and he doesn't know how to tell you. My dad has been with his gf for over eight years now and my sister who is 34 (!!) just doesn't want to meet her, ever.

 

[cocoa butter]

My thoughts are that it is his daughter who probably refuses to meet you. He just does not want to hurt your feelings.Maybe shes one of those kids, who always hopes her parents will get back together.

 

[gibson.samantha23]

no u are not wrong because if he has other children then he have no promble with taking u to meet his daughter

 

[Sunny]

You aren't wrong. Your husband is being really weird about this. Are you absolutely sure the ex and daughter know you exist?

 

[Shauna]

hmmm i am wondering if the daughter even exixts. maybe he has someone else. i have never heard of someone not meeting the spouses other kids by 6 years of being with them. if it were me i would defenitly be thinking that he has a little sum sum on the side. thats why he is hiding it from you. think about it. have you ever heard someone hiding their kids from their wife??? something smells fishy to me. id be hiring a p.i.!! good luck

 

[u d]

I agree with you, something is wrong with this picture. If he brings his daughter into your lives then he may even get more time with her and she can come visit your home, especially if you are supportive. But not allowing even conversation between you and her is extreme. Is there trust issues in your relationship? What is his relationship with the mom? I would be addressing this issue until it gets resolved.

 

[Sara]

Hes prob cheating.

 

[kala♥]

that's really weird, if they know (daughter & ex) that you exist, then why the hell won't he introduce you to his daughter?

you should sit him down and tell how you feel, and make him understand.

 

[sheloves_dablues]

This is very odd. Do you know for sure he has a daughter? Has she ever called the house, written a letter, sent a school picture?

Your husband is keeping something secret, I just can't put my finger on what it is. I'm inclined to agree with the many other answerers that have suggested he's either still married or his "daughter" happens to be his mistress.