ACCES JOUVANCE...The pain

[Heline B]

Oh man did I get destroyed on Friday! Thought I would try a new place to usher in the new year but was limited in time. Since I was in the area, I decided to try out Acces Jouvance. I call up and 3 girls are working, Tania, Sonia and Chelsy. I go online and take a look at the pictures. Found pics for Tania and Chelsy but not Sonia. I decide both Tania and Chelsy look bad so I say to myself how much worse can Sonia be. Book Sonia for 1 hour. I get there and Sonia is with a client for another 30 minutes...guess some guy came in and stole her...really hate when they screw you on the reservation. Receptionist tells me to go into the room and that she'll bring the girls over.

First comes Tania. She's a beast and about 40 years old. Then they send Chelsy over and well she's probably a man. She's like 8 feet tall and 6 feet wide. I suddenly felt lucky that I got Tania since the next poor soul has to take Chelsy. Sitting there snickering about how much luckier I am then the next guy the door opens and Tania walks in. Ok so she's a cross between a rotweiller and rhinoceros but again I'm feeling lucky cause she ain't Chelsy

I know what you're asking yourself, why didn't I just get up and leave. Well they played a Jedi mind game on me and I felt lucky to get Tania.

So she gets undressed to go into the tub, at this point I felt like my luck was running out. Was gonna pay her to keep her clothes on. But I decide to be true to my name and be a dirty old man. So I grab on to those saggy old boobs and ride the wave and let me tell you she's no feather weight...waves we had.

I gotta tell you, got some good mileage of the rhino. She was entertaining and gives a decent HJ. She's definitely not a masseuse, more like a warn out SP.

So my recommendation to anybody going to this place, bring a blindfold and a forty of vodka.

Repeat, not a chance in hell. Actually, maybe during hunting season for warm ups

 

[Miss Sexy McTopheavy]

SUCH A FUNNY REVIEW! I can't believe you have been through all this.
It's a mix of sadomasochism & zoophilia!!!!
ahahhahaha Hang up

 

[Pompal 09.]

I like your style.
Hopefully in the few months, you said in an other post, that you have started the hobby, I hope you had some better experiences than the ones you are reporting about.
But bad experiences, unfortunately for you, help us alot, so keep up the good work we need more pathfinders like you.
Do you take request? There are a few places I'd like someone else to spend their money on. Cathy/Yanna was all I can take for a while as far as a bad experience

 

[Wayne]

Very kind of you to volunteer my money and eyes to try out new wild life I think I might just pass for a little while on new experiments. Gotta get at least a couple of good ones under my belt before I try to tame another MP.

That said, I do like to experiment...send me links or addresses for the new PM, you never know when the mood is right

 

[Amartkmart]

I agree, not very nice of me but I never said I was a nice guy...just a dirty old man

That said, you're more then welcome to go give her a ride and post your comments. Bet you'll sing a different tune after a rhino ride

If everybody else is worried that I might offend somebody then I'll tone it down but I gotta be honest with you, I write it like I see it. If she's a goddess then you'll get a different tune but if she's beast then well she shouldn't be charging us for the work she does...I know it's my perrogative to take her or not but also my perrogative to be an ass

 

[Chicoaa20]

dirtierasigetolder,

WELCOME!

eforum.xxx is in invaluable resource for the exchange ideas and information about the sex trade in Montreal. It is intended to be quite open with little censorship and free-flowing communications. Of course, there are limits to what can and cannot be said, and we ask that everyone conducts themselves appropriately, utmost respect and courtesy for others.

I do suggest you tone it down.

M5

 

[Social Butterfly]

I'll tone it down but honestly I gave a review of my experience. Granted it was very graphical but still just a review. Putting a humorous spin on a bad experience makes it almost bearable.

Don't understand how saying she's a 0.001/10 looks is any different then just calling her a dog? That said, I will tone it down and limit my reviews. Seems like I offended some touchy sensitive eforum.xxx(s). If I've offended you then sorry, didn't think I would have to hold my tongue on a site that talks about the Montreal Sex Scene! Seems a little odd to me

 

[NateDaGreat]

dirtierasigetolder, thanks for the belly laugh. Your post is a classic.

I was surprised by the negative reaction. Maybe the problem is that dog and primate comparisons carry such negative connotations. Next time try fish, trucks or cartoon characters and see how that works out.

Whatever you do, don't hold back on those reviews.

 

[misscara]

dirtieasiget older,

I found your post funny and to the point.
And most importantly,made me want to steer clear of that spot,acces jouvance.
Your style reminds me of someone who went by the name of frombehind a while back.
Keep those reviews comming.
As for your metaphoric style,well the mods did what they have to do and Fat Happy Buddah summed it well.Much better than boring one liners that goes ...''anyone knows if Bertha does fs,daty,bj? '' type posts.
There's not that many peoples offended really,maybe just a couple out of thousands.Not that bad.

cosmo

 

[j_ody]

Fish and truck...let me see...how about she's so fat that when she backs up she beeps. Or, she so nasty that when she took her panties off I could swear I smelled the sea.

But if I say that I'll get my hands slapped again. Some member(s) will get his panties in a twist and call my mother a renegade hyppo that licks moose balls. I mean what she does on her spare time is her perogative, as long as she doesn't charge the moose it seems ok to me

 

[Cannoli]

Thanks Cosmo...I agree, I would way prefer having a detailed review then a simple one liner but some people get really offended when you compare a woman to livestock. Haven't figured out why? I mean you pay for a burger and if the burger sucks you throw it away and tell all your friends not to eat there. Seems reasonable to do it for our hobby also...and between you me and the fence post, I'd rather get screwed on a $5 burger then a $150 massage

 

[Nala]

LOL.....

Man... love the original post, and love the way you replied back to those ppl bashing you.

Common guys, give this dude a break. I work 10 hour shifts, and reading a little bit of humour review always makes my day go by a little faster and better. This guy is in no way doing any REAL harm to these ladies besides him giving his review on his experience and maybe messing up their reputation, but again, he's entitled to his own opinion.

I would prefer to read a thread that is humour (yes yes, even if it is at the "cost" of the girl's expense, but really, it was at the cost of HIS!). He paid $150 or whatever it was for his 1 hour experience and he wasn't happy and was entitled to make his review and bitch about it. Yes, it may not have been the most gentle of ways to write a review, but man, he got his point through and I know I won't EVER go to that place.

He saved me and god knows how many other eforum.xxxites $150, so kudos to that. Unless he was a shill and trying to purposely bring this place down, then his review was actually worth something. $150 of something for many of us.

He already said he'd tone it down a bit, so no need for you to get your panties all tied up in a knot like he said. Don't like the thread, don't read it, better yet complain to the mods. If mods think it is too much and wants to delete it, they will do that. There is no need for you to say who is allowed to stay or leave from the board my friend.

 

[hagerstown_chic]

Another quick note, not trying to pull his name in here to say anything bad about him, but the post that Oliver posts are funny as hell and they are just as graphical as his. Look at his SW thread and how many ppl view it and tell me ppl don't ENJOY reading his thread. And look at this post so far, more ppl laughed and enjoyed this thread than ppl complaining.

If you like to be politically correct, this is not the place to be doing it buddy. I work 10 hours a day and if reading his thread made me have a good laugh, to me, it's considered a good post.

 

[John de Witt]

Thanks MontrealAsian...I could use a few more friends on my side. The reason I started posting was cause of Oliver and his SW thread. That stuff is gold...Like you I work hard for my cash and a good laugh here and there is all I ask for.

Oh and I ain't trying to bring any place down, just my honest review. But like I tell everyone else, go give it a ride and tell me what you think...we can exchange war stories afterwards.

 

[teapot91]

dirtierasigetolder,

count me in your circle of supporters and nevermind the white knights.
The mods have already did what they had to,keep it up man(pun intended).

cosmo

 

[Pompal 09.]

Given a choice between a vicious, humorless, sanctimonious bore and a politically incorrect entertainer, I whole-heartedly choose the latter. In telling Dirtyasigetold that eforum.xxx members would want him to leave the site, you don't speak for me, Pearl Man.

 

[Zerexiam]

Dirtierasigetolder, I'm in the same situation as you! I am getting older too and I have no time to loose with lousy sp or mp. I like your report too and keep on doing reviews...just take care of the MOD and the rules. Don't forget that everything in this world is only a matter of your point of view. A rhino in a big lake could look small.... but in your bed it is a different story!