100 your momma jokes

Fly In the Ointment

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Yo mama's like a pirate, there she blows
Yo mama is so fat she has three shirt sizes, jumbo, humongus, and "OH
MY GOD IT'S COMING TOWARDS US!!"
from Birdie Brown

Yo mama so poor i saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing she said moving.
Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed with her to see how long she slept.
Yo mama's so damn stupid on a job application it said "***" and she wrote Monday wednesday and sometimes friday.
from Iffath Firzana aka Da Sexy Hooka

Paris and Rico walked into the locker room holding his side and bending over. Paris says "ow man im so sore" Dario asks " whats wrong?" Paris replies " man yo mama was rough last night" Rico adds " she needs to loosen up"
from LaL08Kb12004

Yo mama such a dirty ***** that they're having to paternity test the whole state of Texas just to find out who yo daddy is!
from HumorSphere

Yo mamma so old that in the back seat of your car, kids don't say 'Are we there yet', they scream, 'Is she Dead yet!'
from HumorSphere

Yo mamas so hairy wen u were born u almost died of rugburn
from Ted M Nugent

Yo mama smells so bad, when she went to make friends with a skunk, the skunk got hit by a truck on purpose!
from Melissa

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a bathroom and nearly pissed her
pants
Yo mama so fat her logo is "we are family, burger king, mc donalds and
me..."
Yo mama so fat she has all the food caterers on speed dial
from Ross Yates

Yo mama is so big she tripped over wal-mart and landed on target and evey time she passes by the t.v. i miss a seoson of friends
from Yo You Cool

Your mommas so old someone told her to act her age and she died
from MeMe

Yo mama so poor that when i stepped on a cigarette she cried, hey, who turned off the heater.
from Chris Matian

Your sister is so ugly she reminds me of your mom.
from Yosvaldo

Yo mamma so ugly, yo daddy would rather kiss her ass before going work everyday
from Raynell Roberts

Your moms so ugly the mailman mistacked her as the dog.
fromneimanoriginals

You mama so fat she stepped on an airplane and it turned into a submarine
from Spfazzini

This is a fact, yo mama's breath Is wack, she needs a tic, not a tac, but the whole damn pack
I don't mean to be mean, but yo mama needs listerine, not a sip, not a swallow, but the whole damn bottle.
from Alyssa Rosemond

Yo Mama's teeth are so yellow, cars slow down when she smiles!
Yo Mama's breath is so bad, she made a tic tac run away!
from Heather

Your jokes are so corny that the corns on your toes got jealous.
Yo mama so ugly when she looked out the window she was arrested for 1st degree murder.
from Geb Berde

Yo mama like a fast food restaraunt - quick and easy!!!
from Womack

Yo moma is so fat when it rains she uses a highway for a slip 'n' slide
from Michael Ryan

Yo mamma so damn fat that when she traveled back to the dinosaur times and she took a step the dinosaurs said what the hell is happing...oh **** its a real damn earthquake.
from Haley Bumm

Your mama so stupid when she saw a kid dress as a devil in halloween she thouth she was in hell
from Big J


Yo Momma's so ugly, even Sloth from the Goonies wouldn't date her.
from Humorsphere

Yo mama like a shotgun - five ****s and shes loaded
from Zane Powell

Yo Mamma so damn ugly she makes Anne Ramsey look like J Lo.
from Humorsphere

Yo' mamma so ugly she got arrested for vandalizing a mirror shop.
from Game Fisher

Yo mama so stupid she put a peep hole in a glass door
from MJ Dennis

Yo mama like nascar - two rubbers and shes ready to ride.
from Nancy Decatur

Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind man cry!
from Gill Gill

Yo mamma so old, fat and hairy, that when she took you to the zoo the zookeepers thought a silverback Gorilla had abducted you!
from Humorsphere

Yo mama so fat, that when u were born, they had 2 send out a search party to find ya!
from jamie p


Yo mama soooo ugly, she works as a double for Saddam Hussein.
from Humorsphere

Yo moma so stupid if she would to speak her mind she would be speachless
PRETTYBOY1008

Yo mama soooo poor she can't even pay attention!
from She Devil

Yo kid brother so damn ugly that the kids at school have started saying, "Hey Gollum, give us your autograph"
from Humorsphere

Yo mama so0o0o fat, one day she walked out with a yellow rain jacket on and the children began yelling, "Hey, the School Bus is here!"
from She Devil

Yo mama so0o0o fat, she takes baths in the Atlantic Ocean
from She Devil

Listen buddy, your mommy is so freakin dumb that if you told her pappa was a rolling stone, she'd tell her momma to put mick jagger on child support!
from Mista Jodyson

Yo Momma so damn fat the Police where going to use her as an emergency air mattress when Michael Jackson started dangling his baby.
from Bubbles, the Humorsphere Chimp

Hey, yo momma so damn fat when her beeper goes off people turn around to see if she is backin up!!
from Mike Whitlow

Yo moma so fat when she wears a yellow rain coat all the people yell "taxi"
from She Devil

Yo mama's so damn fat that when she was kidnapped her face covered every side of the milk carton!
from Dawn K

You so ugly when a friend walked you into school the teachers said sorry no pets aloud!
from TFLM 2000

Your Mama so dumb she brought a spoon to the super bowl.
from TFLM 2000

Yo Mama's so damn ugly that she turned your dad gay.
from Teresa M Malca

Yo mama's so bald, Mr. Clean got jealous.
from Teresa M Malca

Hey, your Momma is so ****tie I'd call her a hoe but hoes' get paid.
from B. W. Burline

Yo Mamas so damn greasy that she has to use bacon for a bandaid.
from B. W. Burline

Yo' mama so dumb she got locked inside Matress World and slept on the floor.
from Sergio Aleman

Yomomma so hairy that when she puts her arm to her side it looks like she has Don King in a headlock.
from Sergio Aleman

Yo mama so stupid that she got stabbed in a shoot out.
from Sergio Aleman

Yo mama so fat that when she went to sea world the little kids ran away and told their parents that a whale escaped.
from Sergio Aleman

Yo' Mamma is so fat she uses a VHS as a beeper!
from Kerry Scott

Yo mama so stupid she sat on the tv and watched the couch.
from Mr Mundotr

Yo' Mamma is so fat she uses a VHS as a beeper!
from Kerry Scott

Your mama's so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!
from AclHug

Yo Mama so damn old she used to Gang Bang with the Flintstones and had an affair with Captain Caveman.
from Jimbo Paul

Yo mamas so fat she shoved a battery up her ass and yelled "I got the Power!".
from CloseToAnguish

Yo mama so stupid and clumsy, she got tangled in a cordless phone.
from WVscrgrl7

Yo mama soooo fat, she put on a yellow dress and the kids thought she was the school bus.
from WVscrgrl7

Yo' Sista's just like a like a Popsicle - everybody wants a ****in lick!
from Mr Fook Yu

Yo Mamma's so hairy she just got an armpit trim and lost 20 pounds!
from Ms Fook Mi

Yo Moma sooooo ugly, I could have been yo Daddy but the dog beat me under the fence!
from Kelly-Jo

Yo momma is soooooo stupid, she wears a t-shirt that says "hukd on fonicks woorkd fo mi"
from Kelly-Jo

Yo mam like a screen door - after a couple of bangs she tends to loosen up.
from Default

Yo mama is so fat she sat on a rainbow and made Skittles!
from Queenb12

Yo mama so stupid she puts a ruler on her pillow to see how long she slept
from LowRider

I heard that Yo mama is on the warpath - she lost a finger and now can't count past 9...

Yo mama so nasty when she masmassageplanetates, she gets arrested for cruelty to animals.
from A Blanchard

Yo mama's blind and is seeing another man.

Yo mama's glasses are so damn thick she can see into the future.

Yo mama's so old, she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.

You gotta tell yo moma to stop changing lipstick color - I'm now getting a freakin Rainbow on my d**k!

Yo sista so damn stupid on her last job application where it said '***?' she marked "M, F, and occasionally on a Thursday too.."

You' big brother so damn stupid that on his last job application, under emergency contact he put 999 (911).

Yo mam is so stupid - I just aks her about her X-Men and she said: "Well, my first baby's daddy was Jimmy...and I still see Johnny on Fridays...."

Yo Grannie so stupid she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.

Yo Mother in law's teeth are so yellow, Dorothy and Toto thought it was the Yellow Brick Road.

Yo Momma's like a Snickers bar - packed full with with nuts.

Yo ex-girlfriend's like Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets dumped.

Yo mama's like a race car driver...she burns a lot of rubbers...

Yo Auntie just like the Suez Canal - Vessels full of Seamen passing through everyday...

Yo gilfriends's afro so damb big, when the bitch got in my car everyone thought I had tinted windows.

Yo Mama ass so huge she take up 5 rows in the cinema...

Yo Papa's so short, he tried to commit suicide with a pin.

Yo Grannie's so enormous that when she went to the drycleaners to hand in her underwear, they put up a sign - 'NO PARACHUTES ALLOWED'

You Biology teacher so freakin stupid she thinks that DNA is the National Dyslexics Association.

Yo' best friend so idiotic she thoughtt Menopause was a button on her walkman.

You Momma so fat and stupid that her waist is bigger than her I.Q.

Tell Yo' girlfriend my Dog wanna know how much he owes her for last night...

Yo' papa so damn strange that he invented a water-proof teabag.

Yo mother in law so bald that when she put on a sweater, folk thought she was a roll on deoderant!
 
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    All season wellness center : New Young girl big boobs beautiful face deep massage Zoe ,young girl pretty face nice figure Thai deep massage Helen,Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament summer ,Young girl Big breasted saucy naughty Ella , Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Sherry ,address: #5-30 Rambler dr Brampton ,Ontario L6W 1E2☎️4376655510 👅👅🦵🦵🈵🈵👄👄
  32. Moneylee:
    Full season wellness center: New Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament big boobs Rose,Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament big boobs Julie ,Young girl Big-breasted big big butts Aris ,Young beautiful face sexy body and good deep massage maggie,Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Mary. 🏠 2560 Shepard ave Mississauga unit 1 ☎️ 4379857899 👅👅🦵🦵🈵🈵👄👄
  33. SugarLoveSpa:
    Wednesday at ❤️💙 💜𝗦𝗨𝗚𝗔𝗥 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗦𝗣𝗔💖💗💘: CHERRY, MIA, TIFFANY & ZOEY. 1270 Finch Ave W (at Keele St), Unit 18. North York, ON ☎ 𝟰𝟯𝟳-𝟯𝟲𝟱-𝟮𝟲𝟴𝟴 ☎ CHERRY is a young, slim, friendly and absolutely gorgeous Vietnamese beauty, 49 Kgs with Bounteous D Cups. Real pics, unreal services! BBBJ, shower together, full menu. MIA is a young & slim, very PRETTY & VERY petite Vietnamese beauty, 5’1” & 90 Lbs
  34. Hollywood_Spa:
    💘💥 a cozy spa at 4578 Yonge Street unit 100💞💋 Wednesday, 💯💥 Sisi, 👄👄 very slim build, medium height, can do firm treatment and over the top service. Cheerful personality and always thrilled to see you. ❤💋 Nicole, 💋 small girl, but kinda busty, very pretty, long dark hair, nice shape chest, very good treatment followed by excellent service 💋 📱 416 222-5554📱
  35. KSpa:
    WEDNESDAY at 𝐊 𝐒𝐏𝐀: ANA, KELLY, SUKI & CINDY. Unit B6-4227 Sheppard Ave East Scarborough, ON (Just East of Midland Ave) ☎️ 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟳𝟵𝟮-𝟳𝟱𝟲𝟴 ☎️ ANA is a pretty lady standing 5’4” & weighing 115 Lbs, with 36C melons and a very sexy body. KELLY stands 5’3” & weighs 110 Lbs, with nice 34D pillows to comfort you. SUKI is 23, 5’2” & 100 Lbs, 34C with a slim & sweet sexy body.
  36. Withme_Spa:
    💕💗 at 4386 Sheppard Avenue east 💥💋 Wednesday, ❣💋 Ruby, 💋💋 medium height and sexy build with shapely legs and ass. friendly, does a very relaxing treatment and wonderful finish... comfortable treatment ❣❤ Apple, 💞nicely toned body, very pretty and friendly, skilled hands to relax you and knows how to please a man 💞 Amy, 💋 slim, and sexy body, very pretty. High energy session in store for you. 💘 🔋 416 297-7488🔋
  37. Dreaminn:
    WEDNESDAY at💭𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠 𝗜𝗡𝗡 𝗪𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗦𝗣𝗔💭: ANGELA & TINA. 10225 Yonge St (North of Major Mackenzie), Richmond Hill, ON ☎️ 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟴𝟮𝟵-𝟮𝟵𝟴𝟯 ☎️ ANGELA is a slim pretty lady from China, with natural boobs, slim waist and grabbable ass. TINA is a Vietnamese girl with long black hair, slim with nice curves. New to Canada, & speaks English well. Come & welcome her.
  38. lemon_tree:
    💛💥 a discreet entrance at 4155 Sheppard Avenue east, unit 201 💞💋 Wednesday, ❣❤ Alina, 💋 awesome body, very pretty and friendly, skilled hands to relax you and knows how to make you happy. 💗 Lisa, 💖 📞 647 348-2899📞
  39. SunriseRH:
    WEDNESDAY at 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗘 𝗦𝗣𝗔: MICHELLE % SUMMER. 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 27, Richmond Hill, on ☎️ 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟯𝟮𝟱-𝟴𝟬𝟴𝟲 ☎️ MICHELLE is a young, curvaceous beauty, 5’2” & 130Lbs, 37DDD-31-41, a trim waist, and a nice butt. Come and be pampered. SUMMER is an incredibly sweet Asian babe, 5’3” with a captivating 36D-28-39 figure, weighing 108 pounds. Summer has very good massage & services.
  40. NewOriental:
    WEDNESDAY at 🍏💚𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗟 𝗦𝗣𝗔💚🍏: HAPPY & VIVIAN. 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 26, Richmond Hill, on ☎️ 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟯𝟴𝟭-𝟮𝟲𝟴𝟴 ☎️ HAPPY is a slim & busty Korean lady with great massage skills & lots of extra fun. VIVIAN is a pretty & very sexy Chinese doll, standing 5’7” tall, with a slim figure. Vivian is very friendly and versatile.
  41. Red_Pearl_Spa:
    🔴❣ at 4385 Sheppard Avenue east, unit 5 💋💞Tammy,👄 full body treatment by an amazing attendant... cheerful and upbeat personality, very fun ❤ ☎️ 647 352-1588☎️
  42. ASPA:
    𝗪𝗘𝗗𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗗𝗔𝗬 at 𝐀 𝐒𝐏𝐀: Amy, Coco & 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗥𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗹 🅰️𝐀 𝐒𝐏𝐀🅰️, 28 South Unionville Ave, Unit 5, Markham. 🅰️𝗖𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟳𝟮𝟵-𝟲𝟲𝟬𝟲 𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟴𝟯𝟵-𝟱𝟵𝟲𝟲🅰️ AMY is young and very friendly, standing 158 Cms. with 34C Cups and a very nice bum. Amy is a very popular student, young, sexy, and open minded. She is in demand for her good massage
  43. HolidaySpa:
    Wednesday at 🌴😎🌅𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓢𝓹𝓪🌅😎🌴3517 Kennedy Rd, Unit 4, Scarborough ☎️𝟰𝟯𝟳-𝟮𝟰𝟳-𝟭𝟭𝟵𝟵☎️Cindy, Kelly & Kiki. Cindy is a slim & incredibly sexy lady with a smile that will melt your heart, & an ass that will fire up your spirit. Her services are among the best! Kelly is slim and attractive with very slight curves, all natural coconuts, a nice bum, and rockin’ services.
  44. ForeverWarden:
    Wednesday at 🫦❤️🔴🟥♾️𝓕𝓞𝓡𝓔𝓥𝓔𝓡 𝓢𝓟𝓐♾️🟥🔴❤️🫦2190 Warden Ave, Unit 201, Scarborough 𝟰𝟭𝟲-𝟴𝟬𝟬-𝟳𝟴𝟴𝟳: Bella, Cindy & Sasa. Bella is around 5’3” with a thin to medium build, C Cups, and a pleasing personality. She can offer dfk, bbbj and cfs as well as a good massage experience. Cindy is a slim beauty, 5’4”, natural C Cups & wonderfully long nipples. Her massage is nice, her bbbj will drive you wild
  45. bnwellness_wilson:
    Blue Nile Wellness Center, we have 4 young beautiful girls are working today, young cute student Mia 25 years old and young fun Yuki 28 years old open mind , pretty GFE Lina and sexy Coco are providing deep tissue and sensual massage, pls call 416-3985777 book appointment and walk in aways welcome, back entrance and parking available, 350 Wilson Ave North York
  46. Sundayhacker:
    Burldude12 is a low life loossserrr
  47. Endless Joy Spa:
    ✨✨✨✨✨[GRAND OPENING]✨✨✨✨✨ 💞Endless Joy Spa💞 🎇 (155 East Beaver Creek Rd Unit #8, Richmond Hill) 416-731-8565🎇10am-2am, Young Sexy Slim Chinese Emma, Young Slim Thai Janice, Young Sexy CBC Rachel. Slim Sexy Chinese Kiki, Tall Slim Sexy Chinese Kelly, Young Sexy Chinese Abie.
  48. Lulu1980:
    Phoenix Blossom spa ♨️♨️♨️ table shower body scrub 👍👍👍We have 3 beautiful young girls working today, young and lovely Jessica sexy body boots bips and Cici Specialising in table shower body scrub massages and offering deep massages Helen 🤗🤗🤗🤗5124 Dundas St W Etobicoke.Please call ☎️416-817-3366 to book and Walk in the back door there is plenty of parking available
  49. Sparkling Spa:
    ⚡🌟SPARKLING SPA⚡🌟 ✅50 Lockridge Ave Unit 8✅ 👌Markham, ON L3R 8X4👌 ☎️(905) 604-8186 Spa Land Line☎️ ☎️(437) 446-6688 NEW Spa Cell Phone☎️ (West of Warden & 16th Ave) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅NEW MANAGEMENT💯NEW GIRLS🔥SUPERSTAR SERVICE QUEENS AVAILABLE AT SPARKLING SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS🔥💯😘🔥❤️👌 🔥SEXY NEW YOUNG GIRLS ALWAYS WORKING - Today’s Schedule is…🔥 Zoe - 🔥Stunning Tall Taiwanese Service Queen with Endless Passion and Sensuality who Wa
  50. Annie Spa:
    🎉🍒ANNIE SPA🎉🍒 ✅7-1001 SANDHURST CIRCLE✅ 👌SCARBOROUGH ON M1V 1Z6👌 ☎️(647) 891-9688☎️ ☎️(416) 291-8879☎️ (FINCH & MCCOWAN) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅NEW MANAGEMENT💯NEW GIRLS🔥🔥 🔥GORGEOUS NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS - TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: 🔥 Angel 💕 Very beautiful girl from Taiwan, very curvy, young and sexy, she can provide a great massage and wonderful touch and super service. Angel is so sexy, especially her 34C breasts and her big juicy tight bum you can worship and ador
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